Update, new oils and a few more questions answered!

   So, it's been a while but things have changed so I thought I would give update! I am still using the tea tree oil or as I now call it Melaleuca (Sounds way more impressive doesn't it) once, sometimes twice a day. If I stop using it, like if I forget it home for a week when I go out of town my face will start to regress and I will start to get break outs again and I can feel the creepy crawlies again. So basically this is a life long treatment but it's so easy and so cheap I'm okay with that.

   So now to the changes, when I first started using the tto (Melaleuca) I had just gotten some random cheap brand because I wasn't sure it if would work or not and I didn't know much about oils. Yes, it worked, if you have been following this blog or go look through it you will see that but not as well as it could have it turns out. It turns out where you get your oils, and the quality of the oils does matter.

   After I ran out of the first bottle of tto I ordered another one and I don't know what happened but it wasn't the same and didn't have the same results and my face started to break out again. I don't know if it was a different supplier, or old oil or what but it wasn't good. When that happened I started looking into how oils are made, where they come from, how they are harvested everything and I started to look for the best oils I could find and I found Young Living Essential Oils. Let me tell you they have changed my life.

   My face was good before, I was still having some breakouts but it was nothing compared to before so I was happy, my face now is flawless. I can't even believe I can say that so I am going to write it again. My face is FLAWLESS. I get comments daily now on my face but it's how beautiful my complexion in. IT'S CRAZY! I can't help but laugh a little and think in my head "If you only knew what it looked like before!"

   As I have looked more and more into Young Living oils I have started using more and more of their oils and I have started really cleaning out my medicine cabinet and replacing everything with oils. I use them for migraines, I use them to help me sleep, if I feel a cold coming on I use them and it knocks them out, I even use the lemon oil in my water after I read a article on all of the gross crap that comes with that slice of lemon in your water. If you want you can read it here, gross. I have become and oil junkie and I choose Young Living because I know that it is quality oils from seed to seal, I know where the plants are grown, how they are cared for, how they are harvested, tested, and packaged. I trust Young Living. You can purchase directly from their website but please let them know that you found them from me by entering my member number when it asks for your Sponsor ID and Enroller ID by putting in my member number which is 1365808. I'm not going to lie, if you use my number I get points that I can then use to get free oils and who doesn't like free oils. Also if you sign up as a wholesale distributor YOU a discount and instead of paying $34.00 you will pay $26.00 and get 24% discount on all products. If you sign up as a wholesale distributor you have no obligation to sell anything at all, it just provides you with the discount and the option to sell if you would like to. There are two Melaleucas on their site, I use the Melaleuca Alterifolia Essential oil.

  Okay onto a few questions that I have gotten. Yes I still use the oils, just a better brand with better results. I do not use any lotions or creams or anything else on my face. Nothing. I don't wear much makeup so at night I can just splash some water on my face and it gets rid of most of it and the oils remove the rest.

I mix my oils with another oil and not a lotion because I want to use as few things on my face as possible and I especially don't want to use chemicals I can not pronounce. So I keep it simple, Melaleuca oil (tea tree) and Argan, that's it.

I have had some people ask if I have seen a dermatologist or tell me I should see one so let me clear that up. I did, I have been to 6 different ones in 3 different states. They each put me on different expensive medications. I have taken oral medications, daily antibiotics (that can't be good), gels, creams, one doctor had his own concoction that he hand made and mixed of all of this crazy stuff I don't remember what was in it besides sulfur (It smelled) several rounds of laser treatments that cost a fortune and none if it worked, and it was all outrageously expensive. Well it worked to and extent, my face was better on it than off but never completely clear of blemishes and never not flaming red and they left me with lizard skin which was just as unattractive. So I didn't just jump into this because I didn't feel like seeing a doctor, I started doing this because what they were doing wasn't working and I could no longer afford it.

With that all being said, I will post some new pictures! Oh and I dyed my hair red, which I had done before but it never really looked that great when it matched my face ;) Also I made a flyer, feel free to share it but please don't remove my information from it.

Answering a few popular questions.

 Look out two post in one night! So I have had a couple of people wanting to know what I am doing now face wise, what my routine is and ask if I can just put it all in a nutshell so they don't have to read all of these post. So here you go, the highlights:

I use a tea tree oil shampoo and conditioner by Natures Gate that I get a Whole Foods (it's also sulfate free)

I use Dr. Bronner's tea tree bar soap for my body and sometimes my face if it's feeling extra gross (I work with dogs now so that is pretty much every day).

I no longer use the wash that I did in the beginning of this journey.

I still use the 50/50 agran oil/tea tree oil mixture. I don't use it every day, I use it about every other day and my face is still good. It is the only moisturizer I use so if my face feels dry I use it. I'm not nearly as fanatical about it as I was in the beginning, I use to carry it with me and apply it several times a day now I am really lax about it.

I didn't start out with a 50/50 mix and I don't recommend anyone do so. I started with just a little tto to a lot of argan oil. I think it was like 5 parts argan to 1 part tto and slowly upped the tto. I took me about 2 weeks to get up to the 50/50 ratio. It was strong at first and tingled but now I don't feel it, I guess your face gets use to it. I would say if your face is really burning or dry you are using to much tea tree oil and you should dilute it more. More is not always better, especially if it is causing other issues. Just because my face could handle it that quick doesn't mean everyone's can and I would hate for you to give up just because you tried to rush it.

Yes I used my oil on my lashes and eyelids but I DO NOT recommend it to anyone. It BURNS and it could cause DAMAGE to your eyes. I didn't drench my eyes in it or anything, I would rub the oil all over my face and then just brush my fingers over my eyelids and lashes. Even just that tiny leftover oil BURNED. IT BURNS your eyes. I don't want to be responsible for anyone going blind or damaging their eyes.

I ran out of the tea tree oil for about 2 weeks and my face didn't freak out or anything. I did get 1, yes 1, pustule but that was it. I'm sure if I really quit using it all together my mites would begin to over populate and my face would return to it's former glory.

When I had really dry, flaky, lizard skin (it was bad) I used raw shea butter on it and it helped a lot. I am now a huge fan of shea butter and I slather it on my whole body. I made a bunch of shea butter body butters for friends and family for Christmas and they all loved them and apparently so did anyone they shared them with and I now sell my homemade body butters. I believe in the healing powers and moisturizing powers of shea butter. lol.

I still drink coke.

Highlights of the highlights. I still use my oil mixture just not as strict about it, I use tea tree oil shampoo, conditioner and soap. Start with a very diluted tea tree oil and work your way up, if it burns or is causing other issues it's to strong. There is no need to rush it to a certain ratio. I believe even just a little tto oil is still very effective. Shea butter is amazing for dry skin.

Thanks for all the positive feedback! It's nice to know that I'm not alone and that people actually get use out of my ramblings.

No Makeup Selfie Facebook trend.

   So I guess there is some new trend on Facebook where women are suppose to take a selfie with no makeup and post it for cancer awareness. (I personally preferred the cock in a sock trend but that's just me.) I have no idea what that has to do with cancer but I was tagged in a post and....I did it! Yep, I posted a makeup free picture of myself to my facebook! Now I know I have posted a ton of makeup free pictures here so it shouldn't be a big deal, but it was for me. No one in my personal life knows about this blog...no one. So when I type these post or put up these pictures I know people are seeing them, blogger tells me over 12,000 people have seen them (CRAZY!!), but it's all strangers. I can pretend that no one is really seeing them and I won't meet anyone who does anyways and not freak out so much about posting them. But now, now I have built up the confidence to actually show the world, or my world any ways, my face makeup free. I think a lot of it has to do with having "cured" my face (it will never be cured) and part of it is having posted other pictures of my face looking horrible out there for the world to see. I think having sucked it up and posting them on here has kinda ripped off that bandaid. So thanks!

   Another interesting thing I found with the no makeup selfie trend is how many women WILL NOT DO IT. Some of the most gorgeous women I know, will not do it. There are 2 women that refuse that I have never seen without makeup and I have known them for YEARS. And the thing is they are two of the prettiest women I know. I mean it's not like they are going to wash off the makeup and suddenly become Hoggle from the Labyrinth. I know makeup can hide a lot but it's not going to change you so drastically that people will now run and hide from you if you don't wear it. As a woman who has wanted to lock herself in her house I should be more understanding, I know, but I had a reason to want to hide, I had a medical condition that effected my appearance (I didn't get to hide anyways). These women have simply been told or taught somewhere along the line that they are not pretty enough or good enough just the way they are. They feel some kind of shame or embarrassment just for someone to see them. I wish I could say that they are the exception, but in fact they are the majority of women. Most women I know would never, ever, leave their house without makeup. Ever.

   I don't know, it really made me sad how many women are not comfortable in their own skin, and with their own beauty to go bare faced. Maybe I have always had a little more confidence than I realized, but more than likely it was more of a "I don't give a F**k" than confidence lol. I was raised by women who were all about natural beauty and didn't wear a lot of makeup. Pretty wasn't pushed on me, education was. I was also lucky to date guys who always told me I looked prettier without makeup.

 I just wish more women would realize how pretty they really are and that they don't need to hide behind a mask of makeup. I hope we can instill these thoughts in generations to come. We need to raise our daughters with the confidence we instill in our sons. I mean we told men to get naked with just a sock on their cock and they all jumped on board regardless of how big, small, hairy or whatever they are. You never have a hard time talking a guy into showing off his body and getting naked no matter what he looks like, they all have an amazing amount of self confidence that more women should have. I could walk into just about any bar and tell the guys to get naked and 99% would and have no problem doing it no matter what they look like. If I was to walk into a bar and tell all the women to wash their faces probably only about 10 % would. It's sad.

   Be proud women! You are beautiful... blemishes, red faced, flushes and all! The most attractive thing a woman can wear is self confidence.

Here is my Facebook no makeup selfie in case anyone was curious.

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Super quick update!

   So I am just going to give a super quick update. My face has been really great. I haven't had a mite pustule in forever thank god, I do occasionally get a pimple, like a real pimple but that is just life. I do still have some mild redness on my face but the only thing that will help that will be lasers, I had my face zapped a few years ago and it helped and I need to do it again but it's not super bad so I am not really worrying about it yet. If I get hot or sick my face turns REALLY red, but other than that it's just a little flushed all the time. I got a job working at a doggy daycare which I love, I am still working on being a midwife. Other than that things are the same. I do plan on starting to work on other areas of myself like my weight. I'm not miserable with my body, I don't hate it, but I would like to be healthier and live a healthier life (I say this as I plan to stop at the store and grab a coke on my way to work -_-) I just really need to be healthier and losing weight wouldn't be a bad thing. I am FAR from skinny, but I'm okay with being fat, yes I said it I'm fat. So I would like to lost around 50 lbs even though according to BMI I need to lose like 70 to be on the high end. I am thinking about starting a blog to help me be accountable but we will see. Anyways back to the face, here are some pictures I just took. Still doing argan and tea tree oil, and occasionally if I get a zit a friend had some proactive stuff she didn't use anymore and I will use it as a spot treatment and it helps clear it up faster. It's still wierd to run my hands across my face and for it to be smooth. Especially since my nervous tick use to be picking (gross, I know). Okay off to the pictures! And yes I know for some reason I am giving major duck face, I have no excuse for it, I didn't even realize I was doing it. You can see I had a pimple right below the corner of my mouth but it's gone and healing now. At this moment I don't have a single pimple or bump, just healing remains. It blows my mind still.

Hmmm.

   So it's Friday night and what am I doing, sitting at home reading rosacea forums. lol. Some things never change. I guess I should have taken a picture to put on here but I forget sorry. I will post a picture of me from yesterday. I was wearing lipstick (which I never do) so I thought I should take a picture to prove to my friend I do indeed wear makeup from time to time. I still only wear translucent mineral powder on my face. I'm still pretty cautious about what I put on it, even my costume makeup is professional stage makeup and I am always using new sponges and washing my brushed really good. I have this fear that all of a sudden I am going to wake up and my face is going to go back to being really bad and the tto isn't going to work any more and I have no other options. I know, I'm obsessive.

   Anyways, as I was looking at the forum I seen someone say "go check out Kisha's blog" and I thought "Hey! That's me!" LOL. It's so funny because I mean I know a few people read this because every once and a while someone will comment but it's still funny that someone would use my little journal as a reference. It made me feel good, like maybe me posting these humiliating pictures for the world to see might actually help someone. If so that's pretty awesome. Even if my method doesn't work to clear someone else's face, if someone else even just reads this and my feelings and how low I felt and realizes that they are not alone in this, it's worth it.

   So anyways of anyone on here is from the rosacea forum and if you have any questions or anything feel free to message me on here or the forum. I get all of my oils, herbs, everything from Mountain Rose Herbs. I highly recommend them. I have also started making my own soap, body butter, lotion, everything. I want to know what is going on my skin and is being absorbed. As far as makeup I am doing the mineral makeup unless it's costume stuff.

Okay so here is a really random picture of me that really has no comparison capabilities at all. But this is me in natural light (obviously) lipstick, mascara and a light translucent powder. You can see I have a little rosy cheeks, I just consider it natural blush, but no flaming red, scaly, bumpy skin. But see I am not always really scary looking! I can go out in public without making small children run!

Me blabbering about ....

      So I started to write this as a response to someone who has read my blog and thanked me and told me they were to shy to put up pictures. I have actually had a lot of people thanking me for the pictures and well, your welcome. When I was starting out I use to try to look at every picture I could find and try to compare my face to theirs, is mine worse, is their's worse, is their treatment working things like that. The frustrating part is we are all so ashamed of our faces none of us post pictures! I didn't find a whole lot of pictures besides the ones that doctors had taken or grainy pictures people took of their face in a current state asking for advice but not a whole lot. So when I decided to keep a journal taking those pictures wasn't easy...at all. At first I was just going to do it so I can see my progress and then I decided to post them so maybe I can help others. So once I decided I was going to post pictures on here, I wasn't going to show my whole face in case someone might know me or because I was embarrassed that's why my first pictures only show the bottom half of my face. Then I just said forget it, you know what it is what it is, maybe if the people in my life see what my face REALLY looks like they will understand it a little better. So that is where I am at today. This is my face, it's the only one I have, so deal with it and if my pictures help someone else great, I'm not going to lie it was and is really hard to put a picture of myself barefaced into the world but it's to late now! Sometimes it's just nice to see another face like yours and know that you are not the only person dealing with this. Well with that being said no one in my personal life knows about my blog... at all. To me pictures are everything, I get hope from visualization so when I was having a bad day I could look back and be like, well it could be worse.

           The hardest part of having rosacea for me is trying to explain rosacea to people that don't have it. They just don't get it! First they don't understand that it is physically painful, they just think you have pink rosy cheeks, it HURTS. Your face feels swollen and tight and it throbs and it feels like it has been in a meat grinder and it's hot, it's just miserable. I would put cold wet wash clothes on my face and it would feel soooo good. Also they don't get that it's your FACE. It's the first thing people see when they great you and meet you, it's the first impression you give, you can't hide it. You can try to hide it with makeup but you know that heavy makeup is just going to leave you in physical pain later because it's so harsh. It's just as much as an emotional/mental disease as it is physical and other people don't get it. The only people that will get it is others who are going through the same things. When I would get upset and not want to leave my house or cancel plans with friends I would get unsympathetic response of "It's just your face...get over it" I got tired of hearing that. It's easy for others to say because their insecurities can be hidden, their flaws are not on display. So that is where the blog name came from. Every single day, EVERY day, at least one (usually more) person would tell me I look flush or like I got sun or how rosy my cheeks are or ask if I was feeling ok or if I had a fever. I was so sick of it I wanted to just wear a shirt that said "yes my face is red, thanks for pointing it out I would have never known". If someone is really fat people don't point it out, if they are going bald they don't point it out but people have no problem pointing out your face. It is just plain rude.

      So basically that whole rant was to say this. Thank you for reading my blog, thank you for the support and encouragement and all the kind words. I hope if you find this and feel like you are all alone and don't plan on leaving your house ever again you can realize you are not! There are other people out their suffering and hurting physically and emotionally and it can get better! Sorry about typos and shit not making sense, I never re-read before posting (I should) or spell check. I basically have used this as a journal and just let things spill out as they come. Probably explains why things are so all over the place. So yeah, that's it for tonight! I think I will post again tomorrow.

Oh yeah

    So when I did my update I forgot to mention that not only has my skin been looking great but I have also been putting it through hell. Living in New Orleans we have a lot of social clubs and krewes and groups and I joined one! I am a member of a bone krewe called Skinz N Bonez. Anyways, we dress up as dia de los muertos or day of the dead for events and parades and such, and being in New Orleans we have a bunch of these types of events. So what does this have to do with my face? I have been putting it through hell with all of the makeup and glue and glitter and it has been staying pretty consistent. I get a pimple every now and then but who wouldn't with all of this. So here is a few pictures of the things I have been putting my face through.