So I am just going to give a super quick update. My face has been really great. I haven't had a mite pustule in forever thank god, I do occasionally get a pimple, like a real pimple but that is just life. I do still have some mild redness on my face but the only thing that will help that will be lasers, I had my face zapped a few years ago and it helped and I need to do it again but it's not super bad so I am not really worrying about it yet. If I get hot or sick my face turns REALLY red, but other than that it's just a little flushed all the time. I got a job working at a doggy daycare which I love, I am still working on being a midwife. Other than that things are the same. I do plan on starting to work on other areas of myself like my weight. I'm not miserable with my body, I don't hate it, but I would like to be healthier and live a healthier life (I say this as I plan to stop at the store and grab a coke on my way to work -_-) I just really need to be healthier and losing weight wouldn't be a bad thing. I am FAR from skinny, but I'm okay with being fat, yes I said it I'm fat. So I would like to lost around 50 lbs even though according to BMI I need to lose like 70 to be on the high end. I am thinking about starting a blog to help me be accountable but we will see. Anyways back to the face, here are some pictures I just took. Still doing argan and tea tree oil, and occasionally if I get a zit a friend had some proactive stuff she didn't use anymore and I will use it as a spot treatment and it helps clear it up faster. It's still wierd to run my hands across my face and for it to be smooth. Especially since my nervous tick use to be picking (gross, I know). Okay off to the pictures! And yes I know for some reason I am giving major duck face, I have no excuse for it, I didn't even realize I was doing it. You can see I had a pimple right below the corner of my mouth but it's gone and healing now. At this moment I don't have a single pimple or bump, just healing remains. It blows my mind still.
Showing posts with label pictures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pictures. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Me blabbering about ....
So I started to write this as a response to someone who has read my blog and thanked me and told me they were to shy to put up pictures. I have actually had a lot of people thanking me for the pictures and well, your welcome. When I was starting out I use to try to look at every picture I could find and try to compare my face to theirs, is mine worse, is their's worse, is their treatment working things like that. The frustrating part is we are all so ashamed of our faces none of us post pictures! I didn't find a whole lot of pictures besides the ones that doctors had taken or grainy pictures people took of their face in a current state asking for advice but not a whole lot. So when I decided to keep a journal taking those pictures wasn't easy...at all. At first I was just going to do it so I can see my progress and then I decided to post them so maybe I can help others. So once I decided I was going to post pictures on here, I wasn't going to show my whole face in case someone might know me or because I was embarrassed that's why my first pictures only show the bottom half of my face. Then I just said forget it, you know what it is what it is, maybe if the people in my life see what my face REALLY looks like they will understand it a little better. So that is where I am at today. This is my face, it's the only one I have, so deal with it and if my pictures help someone else great, I'm not going to lie it was and is really hard to put a picture of myself barefaced into the world but it's to late now! Sometimes it's just nice to see another face like yours and know that you are not the only person dealing with this. Well with that being said no one in my personal life knows about my blog... at all. To me pictures are everything, I get hope from visualization so when I was having a bad day I could look back and be like, well it could be worse.
The hardest part of having rosacea for me is trying to explain rosacea to people that don't have it. They just don't get it! First they don't understand that it is physically painful, they just think you have pink rosy cheeks, it HURTS. Your face feels swollen and tight and it throbs and it feels like it has been in a meat grinder and it's hot, it's just miserable. I would put cold wet wash clothes on my face and it would feel soooo good. Also they don't get that it's your FACE. It's the first thing people see when they great you and meet you, it's the first impression you give, you can't hide it. You can try to hide it with makeup but you know that heavy makeup is just going to leave you in physical pain later because it's so harsh. It's just as much as an emotional/mental disease as it is physical and other people don't get it. The only people that will get it is others who are going through the same things. When I would get upset and not want to leave my house or cancel plans with friends I would get unsympathetic response of "It's just your face...get over it" I got tired of hearing that. It's easy for others to say because their insecurities can be hidden, their flaws are not on display. So that is where the blog name came from. Every single day, EVERY day, at least one (usually more) person would tell me I look flush or like I got sun or how rosy my cheeks are or ask if I was feeling ok or if I had a fever. I was so sick of it I wanted to just wear a shirt that said "yes my face is red, thanks for pointing it out I would have never known". If someone is really fat people don't point it out, if they are going bald they don't point it out but people have no problem pointing out your face. It is just plain rude.
So basically that whole rant was to say this. Thank you for reading my blog, thank you for the support and encouragement and all the kind words. I hope if you find this and feel like you are all alone and don't plan on leaving your house ever again you can realize you are not! There are other people out their suffering and hurting physically and emotionally and it can get better! Sorry about typos and shit not making sense, I never re-read before posting (I should) or spell check. I basically have used this as a journal and just let things spill out as they come. Probably explains why things are so all over the place. So yeah, that's it for tonight! I think I will post again tomorrow.
The hardest part of having rosacea for me is trying to explain rosacea to people that don't have it. They just don't get it! First they don't understand that it is physically painful, they just think you have pink rosy cheeks, it HURTS. Your face feels swollen and tight and it throbs and it feels like it has been in a meat grinder and it's hot, it's just miserable. I would put cold wet wash clothes on my face and it would feel soooo good. Also they don't get that it's your FACE. It's the first thing people see when they great you and meet you, it's the first impression you give, you can't hide it. You can try to hide it with makeup but you know that heavy makeup is just going to leave you in physical pain later because it's so harsh. It's just as much as an emotional/mental disease as it is physical and other people don't get it. The only people that will get it is others who are going through the same things. When I would get upset and not want to leave my house or cancel plans with friends I would get unsympathetic response of "It's just your face...get over it" I got tired of hearing that. It's easy for others to say because their insecurities can be hidden, their flaws are not on display. So that is where the blog name came from. Every single day, EVERY day, at least one (usually more) person would tell me I look flush or like I got sun or how rosy my cheeks are or ask if I was feeling ok or if I had a fever. I was so sick of it I wanted to just wear a shirt that said "yes my face is red, thanks for pointing it out I would have never known". If someone is really fat people don't point it out, if they are going bald they don't point it out but people have no problem pointing out your face. It is just plain rude.
So basically that whole rant was to say this. Thank you for reading my blog, thank you for the support and encouragement and all the kind words. I hope if you find this and feel like you are all alone and don't plan on leaving your house ever again you can realize you are not! There are other people out their suffering and hurting physically and emotionally and it can get better! Sorry about typos and shit not making sense, I never re-read before posting (I should) or spell check. I basically have used this as a journal and just let things spill out as they come. Probably explains why things are so all over the place. So yeah, that's it for tonight! I think I will post again tomorrow.
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