Update, new oils and a few more questions answered!

   So, it's been a while but things have changed so I thought I would give update! I am still using the tea tree oil or as I now call it Melaleuca (Sounds way more impressive doesn't it) once, sometimes twice a day. If I stop using it, like if I forget it home for a week when I go out of town my face will start to regress and I will start to get break outs again and I can feel the creepy crawlies again. So basically this is a life long treatment but it's so easy and so cheap I'm okay with that.

   So now to the changes, when I first started using the tto (Melaleuca) I had just gotten some random cheap brand because I wasn't sure it if would work or not and I didn't know much about oils. Yes, it worked, if you have been following this blog or go look through it you will see that but not as well as it could have it turns out. It turns out where you get your oils, and the quality of the oils does matter.

   After I ran out of the first bottle of tto I ordered another one and I don't know what happened but it wasn't the same and didn't have the same results and my face started to break out again. I don't know if it was a different supplier, or old oil or what but it wasn't good. When that happened I started looking into how oils are made, where they come from, how they are harvested everything and I started to look for the best oils I could find and I found Young Living Essential Oils. Let me tell you they have changed my life.

   My face was good before, I was still having some breakouts but it was nothing compared to before so I was happy, my face now is flawless. I can't even believe I can say that so I am going to write it again. My face is FLAWLESS. I get comments daily now on my face but it's how beautiful my complexion in. IT'S CRAZY! I can't help but laugh a little and think in my head "If you only knew what it looked like before!"

   As I have looked more and more into Young Living oils I have started using more and more of their oils and I have started really cleaning out my medicine cabinet and replacing everything with oils. I use them for migraines, I use them to help me sleep, if I feel a cold coming on I use them and it knocks them out, I even use the lemon oil in my water after I read a article on all of the gross crap that comes with that slice of lemon in your water. If you want you can read it here, gross. I have become and oil junkie and I choose Young Living because I know that it is quality oils from seed to seal, I know where the plants are grown, how they are cared for, how they are harvested, tested, and packaged. I trust Young Living. You can purchase directly from their website but please let them know that you found them from me by entering my member number when it asks for your Sponsor ID and Enroller ID by putting in my member number which is 1365808. I'm not going to lie, if you use my number I get points that I can then use to get free oils and who doesn't like free oils. Also if you sign up as a wholesale distributor YOU a discount and instead of paying $34.00 you will pay $26.00 and get 24% discount on all products. If you sign up as a wholesale distributor you have no obligation to sell anything at all, it just provides you with the discount and the option to sell if you would like to. There are two Melaleucas on their site, I use the Melaleuca Alterifolia Essential oil.

  Okay onto a few questions that I have gotten. Yes I still use the oils, just a better brand with better results. I do not use any lotions or creams or anything else on my face. Nothing. I don't wear much makeup so at night I can just splash some water on my face and it gets rid of most of it and the oils remove the rest.

I mix my oils with another oil and not a lotion because I want to use as few things on my face as possible and I especially don't want to use chemicals I can not pronounce. So I keep it simple, Melaleuca oil (tea tree) and Argan, that's it.

I have had some people ask if I have seen a dermatologist or tell me I should see one so let me clear that up. I did, I have been to 6 different ones in 3 different states. They each put me on different expensive medications. I have taken oral medications, daily antibiotics (that can't be good), gels, creams, one doctor had his own concoction that he hand made and mixed of all of this crazy stuff I don't remember what was in it besides sulfur (It smelled) several rounds of laser treatments that cost a fortune and none if it worked, and it was all outrageously expensive. Well it worked to and extent, my face was better on it than off but never completely clear of blemishes and never not flaming red and they left me with lizard skin which was just as unattractive. So I didn't just jump into this because I didn't feel like seeing a doctor, I started doing this because what they were doing wasn't working and I could no longer afford it.

With that all being said, I will post some new pictures! Oh and I dyed my hair red, which I had done before but it never really looked that great when it matched my face ;) Also I made a flyer, feel free to share it but please don't remove my information from it.

Super quick update!

   So I am just going to give a super quick update. My face has been really great. I haven't had a mite pustule in forever thank god, I do occasionally get a pimple, like a real pimple but that is just life. I do still have some mild redness on my face but the only thing that will help that will be lasers, I had my face zapped a few years ago and it helped and I need to do it again but it's not super bad so I am not really worrying about it yet. If I get hot or sick my face turns REALLY red, but other than that it's just a little flushed all the time. I got a job working at a doggy daycare which I love, I am still working on being a midwife. Other than that things are the same. I do plan on starting to work on other areas of myself like my weight. I'm not miserable with my body, I don't hate it, but I would like to be healthier and live a healthier life (I say this as I plan to stop at the store and grab a coke on my way to work -_-) I just really need to be healthier and losing weight wouldn't be a bad thing. I am FAR from skinny, but I'm okay with being fat, yes I said it I'm fat. So I would like to lost around 50 lbs even though according to BMI I need to lose like 70 to be on the high end. I am thinking about starting a blog to help me be accountable but we will see. Anyways back to the face, here are some pictures I just took. Still doing argan and tea tree oil, and occasionally if I get a zit a friend had some proactive stuff she didn't use anymore and I will use it as a spot treatment and it helps clear it up faster. It's still wierd to run my hands across my face and for it to be smooth. Especially since my nervous tick use to be picking (gross, I know). Okay off to the pictures! And yes I know for some reason I am giving major duck face, I have no excuse for it, I didn't even realize I was doing it. You can see I had a pimple right below the corner of my mouth but it's gone and healing now. At this moment I don't have a single pimple or bump, just healing remains. It blows my mind still.

Hmmm.

   So it's Friday night and what am I doing, sitting at home reading rosacea forums. lol. Some things never change. I guess I should have taken a picture to put on here but I forget sorry. I will post a picture of me from yesterday. I was wearing lipstick (which I never do) so I thought I should take a picture to prove to my friend I do indeed wear makeup from time to time. I still only wear translucent mineral powder on my face. I'm still pretty cautious about what I put on it, even my costume makeup is professional stage makeup and I am always using new sponges and washing my brushed really good. I have this fear that all of a sudden I am going to wake up and my face is going to go back to being really bad and the tto isn't going to work any more and I have no other options. I know, I'm obsessive.

   Anyways, as I was looking at the forum I seen someone say "go check out Kisha's blog" and I thought "Hey! That's me!" LOL. It's so funny because I mean I know a few people read this because every once and a while someone will comment but it's still funny that someone would use my little journal as a reference. It made me feel good, like maybe me posting these humiliating pictures for the world to see might actually help someone. If so that's pretty awesome. Even if my method doesn't work to clear someone else's face, if someone else even just reads this and my feelings and how low I felt and realizes that they are not alone in this, it's worth it.

   So anyways of anyone on here is from the rosacea forum and if you have any questions or anything feel free to message me on here or the forum. I get all of my oils, herbs, everything from Mountain Rose Herbs. I highly recommend them. I have also started making my own soap, body butter, lotion, everything. I want to know what is going on my skin and is being absorbed. As far as makeup I am doing the mineral makeup unless it's costume stuff.

Okay so here is a really random picture of me that really has no comparison capabilities at all. But this is me in natural light (obviously) lipstick, mascara and a light translucent powder. You can see I have a little rosy cheeks, I just consider it natural blush, but no flaming red, scaly, bumpy skin. But see I am not always really scary looking! I can go out in public without making small children run!

Me blabbering about ....

      So I started to write this as a response to someone who has read my blog and thanked me and told me they were to shy to put up pictures. I have actually had a lot of people thanking me for the pictures and well, your welcome. When I was starting out I use to try to look at every picture I could find and try to compare my face to theirs, is mine worse, is their's worse, is their treatment working things like that. The frustrating part is we are all so ashamed of our faces none of us post pictures! I didn't find a whole lot of pictures besides the ones that doctors had taken or grainy pictures people took of their face in a current state asking for advice but not a whole lot. So when I decided to keep a journal taking those pictures wasn't easy...at all. At first I was just going to do it so I can see my progress and then I decided to post them so maybe I can help others. So once I decided I was going to post pictures on here, I wasn't going to show my whole face in case someone might know me or because I was embarrassed that's why my first pictures only show the bottom half of my face. Then I just said forget it, you know what it is what it is, maybe if the people in my life see what my face REALLY looks like they will understand it a little better. So that is where I am at today. This is my face, it's the only one I have, so deal with it and if my pictures help someone else great, I'm not going to lie it was and is really hard to put a picture of myself barefaced into the world but it's to late now! Sometimes it's just nice to see another face like yours and know that you are not the only person dealing with this. Well with that being said no one in my personal life knows about my blog... at all. To me pictures are everything, I get hope from visualization so when I was having a bad day I could look back and be like, well it could be worse.

           The hardest part of having rosacea for me is trying to explain rosacea to people that don't have it. They just don't get it! First they don't understand that it is physically painful, they just think you have pink rosy cheeks, it HURTS. Your face feels swollen and tight and it throbs and it feels like it has been in a meat grinder and it's hot, it's just miserable. I would put cold wet wash clothes on my face and it would feel soooo good. Also they don't get that it's your FACE. It's the first thing people see when they great you and meet you, it's the first impression you give, you can't hide it. You can try to hide it with makeup but you know that heavy makeup is just going to leave you in physical pain later because it's so harsh. It's just as much as an emotional/mental disease as it is physical and other people don't get it. The only people that will get it is others who are going through the same things. When I would get upset and not want to leave my house or cancel plans with friends I would get unsympathetic response of "It's just your face...get over it" I got tired of hearing that. It's easy for others to say because their insecurities can be hidden, their flaws are not on display. So that is where the blog name came from. Every single day, EVERY day, at least one (usually more) person would tell me I look flush or like I got sun or how rosy my cheeks are or ask if I was feeling ok or if I had a fever. I was so sick of it I wanted to just wear a shirt that said "yes my face is red, thanks for pointing it out I would have never known". If someone is really fat people don't point it out, if they are going bald they don't point it out but people have no problem pointing out your face. It is just plain rude.

      So basically that whole rant was to say this. Thank you for reading my blog, thank you for the support and encouragement and all the kind words. I hope if you find this and feel like you are all alone and don't plan on leaving your house ever again you can realize you are not! There are other people out their suffering and hurting physically and emotionally and it can get better! Sorry about typos and shit not making sense, I never re-read before posting (I should) or spell check. I basically have used this as a journal and just let things spill out as they come. Probably explains why things are so all over the place. So yeah, that's it for tonight! I think I will post again tomorrow.

Oh yeah

    So when I did my update I forgot to mention that not only has my skin been looking great but I have also been putting it through hell. Living in New Orleans we have a lot of social clubs and krewes and groups and I joined one! I am a member of a bone krewe called Skinz N Bonez. Anyways, we dress up as dia de los muertos or day of the dead for events and parades and such, and being in New Orleans we have a bunch of these types of events. So what does this have to do with my face? I have been putting it through hell with all of the makeup and glue and glitter and it has been staying pretty consistent. I get a pimple every now and then but who wouldn't with all of this. So here is a few pictures of the things I have been putting my face through.

Long over due update.

   Sorry for anyone that has been waiting for an update, life has been super busy with school and trying to find steady work and apprenticeship and well....just life. So I have just been using the tea tree soap to bathe with and the tea tree oil/argan oil mixture once a day before bed. My redness has DRASTICALLY reduced, I don't really get pustules anymore, I actually can't think of the last time I got one. I do get pimples now and then and actually just had two right next to each other on my lip so it looked like one GIGANTIC zit. Just in time for the holidays! So that is basically been it, my face has been such a none issue lately it's amazing, especially since it had been a battle for YEARS and was ruining my life. It still blows my mind that a bottle of oil I bought for 10 dollars months ago was the answer all along. Okay on to the pictures. You will see that I have the large double decker pimple healing on my lip, it's going away now, but other than that no blemishes.

Finally an update!

So sorry I haven't done an update in a while. Life has been insane to say the least. I got laid off from work, and been trying to get money for school and life has just been crazy stressful. The one thing that hasn't been stressful is my face. It hasn't been perfect but it is soooo much better than it once was. I still get a pimple  or two and every once and a while I can feel a mite crawling around but my face looks just as good now as it ever did on prescription meds. It's a lot less red but if you look close at my face the red is little spider veins that need to be zapped again. I tried to take a picture up close so you can see. So I am still not "washing" my face, just rinsing with water and putting the Argan oil/Tea Tree Oil on before bed at night. My face isn't dry at all anymore it feels soft and it's not dry or flaky at all and it's not oily either. No more lizard skin. I know it sounds crazy to NOT wash your face but I think the oils are strong enough to cleanse it and my pores have shrunk a lot on my nose. If I am wearing makeup I will use Clinique makeup remover for heavy makeup (I have been doing trial runs for Halloween) or just those little disposable wipes you can get and I just use those on my eyes, the oil takes of the rest of my makeup. I'm really surprised that my face has stayed so happy because I have been being kind of harsh to it the last week. I have been practicing Halloween makeup and doing trial runs to see what will work. With all of that make up on and off I thought for sure I was going to have a face freak out, especially with all the stress, but nope. So I am going to load a bunch of pictures on here. My face today, a kind of journey collage and a side by side of what I think is my lowest point and now and just for fun some of the makeup stuff I have been doing so you can see how I am putting my skin to the test. I have not given up my coke or gone gluten free but I have been eating MUCH healthier and a mostly plant based diet, I have meat here and there, mostly seafood. Anyways on to the pictures

Day....I lost count, since June 2013.

Worst and now side by side

Sorry everyone.

   So I am still sick, I think it's mostly severe allergies but I haven't really dragged myself out of bed much. Stuffy nose, head congestion, clogged ears the works. When I start feeling better I will keep updating. Right now everything is still looking good. I still look like the last pictures, no p&p, face is not perfectly pale but as close to it as my face gets due to broken blood vessels on my cheeks, only lasers will help that. Still just doing the tea tree/argan oil at night and the internal borax once a day. My face is really soft and smooth and not dry at all which is amazing. Even when my face was clear on the oreacea it was still really dry. My face feels so soft I just want to rub all the time and my mom will be like "was does your face feel like now? can I touch it?" LOL. She knows how bumpy and dry and gross it felt before, sometimes like sandpaper. I think she is pretty surprised by it all too. Okay, I am going back to bed. I will hopefully feel better and update soon. 

Day 27, Happy 4th of July!

Okay, sorry I haven't updated, still sick but getting better. I was actually able to get out of bed and take a few pictures to post today. Still doing just the 50/50 argan oil/ tea tree oil at night before bed but that is all I have been doing the last few days. I was a little scared my skin was going to revolt but it hasn't. I keep waiting for it to explode on me, like a ticking time bomb but it just keeps getting better. I almost feel like if I talk about how good my skin is looking that it will explode on me. That and I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around the face that cheap over the counter stuff has made my face look better than it ever has. Ever. My texture is looking great, it's smoothing out. Not a single pustule and my pimples are healing and I don't have any new ones, my face is slightly pink by with a little makeup it's normal. It's pretty fucking amazing. Okay I am going to post picture and go back to bed. Full face and close ups. Happy 4th of July.

Day 27