Hmmm.

   So it's Friday night and what am I doing, sitting at home reading rosacea forums. lol. Some things never change. I guess I should have taken a picture to put on here but I forget sorry. I will post a picture of me from yesterday. I was wearing lipstick (which I never do) so I thought I should take a picture to prove to my friend I do indeed wear makeup from time to time. I still only wear translucent mineral powder on my face. I'm still pretty cautious about what I put on it, even my costume makeup is professional stage makeup and I am always using new sponges and washing my brushed really good. I have this fear that all of a sudden I am going to wake up and my face is going to go back to being really bad and the tto isn't going to work any more and I have no other options. I know, I'm obsessive.

   Anyways, as I was looking at the forum I seen someone say "go check out Kisha's blog" and I thought "Hey! That's me!" LOL. It's so funny because I mean I know a few people read this because every once and a while someone will comment but it's still funny that someone would use my little journal as a reference. It made me feel good, like maybe me posting these humiliating pictures for the world to see might actually help someone. If so that's pretty awesome. Even if my method doesn't work to clear someone else's face, if someone else even just reads this and my feelings and how low I felt and realizes that they are not alone in this, it's worth it.

   So anyways of anyone on here is from the rosacea forum and if you have any questions or anything feel free to message me on here or the forum. I get all of my oils, herbs, everything from Mountain Rose Herbs. I highly recommend them. I have also started making my own soap, body butter, lotion, everything. I want to know what is going on my skin and is being absorbed. As far as makeup I am doing the mineral makeup unless it's costume stuff.

Okay so here is a really random picture of me that really has no comparison capabilities at all. But this is me in natural light (obviously) lipstick, mascara and a light translucent powder. You can see I have a little rosy cheeks, I just consider it natural blush, but no flaming red, scaly, bumpy skin. But see I am not always really scary looking! I can go out in public without making small children run!

I am a woman who has become obsessed.

     So right now I am not working, I just got back from a month long trip to California and I haven't picked up any clients since I have been back. This has resulted in two things, me being broke and stressed, and me being obsessed with my face and how horrible it looks. I was just looking at pictures of me from two weeks ago with no makeup swimming and my skin was beautiful. Not perfect but as close to perfect as it gets for me. Depressing.

   So since I am currently not working and I refuse to leave my house unless it is related to school I have had a lot of spare time on my hands. What have I been doing with that spare time you ask? Obsessing over my face and how to cure it. For some reason in my head if I fix my face I will all of a sudden have a better life. I will have tons of friends and I will do things and I will go places and everything will be great. I know this is not true. All that will happen is I will sit at home and have a normal face. So now I just spend HOURS researching and looking for cures or fixes for rosacea that do not include me going to the doctor since I don't have insurance. I am pretty sure by the end of the week I will be an expert on all things rosacea, demodex mites and sub derm. I don't know why I am researching sub derm since I don't have it, but you never know, my skin is fickle like that.

   My face has had a few flashes on and off today, none lasting more than 30 minutes or so but man those 30 minutes seem to last FOREVER. Another thing I was thinking about is I ran out of oracea when I was still in California and my face remained fine, but the day after I returned back to New Orleans BAM! it was bad. I am wondering if it was coincidence and the oracea took a while to work it's way out of my system or if there is something in my house that is setting my face off or if it is the weather and humidity down here. Hmmm. Going to have to ponder that a while....or research it.

   One last thing, I ordered some nu-stock sulfur cream today, it should be in next week. I am not sure when I will try it or how often, I will have to go research that too.