Day 35. Getting better

   Sorry it has been a busy few days. My face is getting better, I did have a few pustules pop back up but they are already going away. The hives from the nu-stock are going away too which is awesome. My face doesn't itch anymore which is the biggest relief. My face is still a little sunburned looking but that is getting better and I can cover it with makeup but I am hoping it will go away like it did eventually after I used it the first time. Right now I am back in lizard mode with the flaky scaly skin. It is really annoying because it feels like a coat of armor that nothing can penetrate and no matter what I put in it never feels hydrated and when I do have makeup on to cover the redness you can literally see dry scales on my face. I am hoping like along with the redness this to shall go away like it did the last time I used nu-stock.

   Other than that my face looks pretty decent. I have a few little blemishes but even those are healing and going away. Crossing my fingers that my face goes back to how it was a week ago soon. It was so nice. I really have no reason to think that it won't especially since I KNOW it is possible. Okay on to the pictures. Sorry for the dead look, I had just woken up and was running late. I swear I really need to take a decent picture of me one of these days and post it.

Day 35

Day 31, All good things must come to an end

   So my face was beautiful and it was really nice but all good things must come to an end. Actually it's not bad, I did develop a few p&p today but nothing bad. I knew it was coming so I am not freaking out....Yet. I went back and looked at the time line and it said

Week 2-3:During this period, you’ll experience the most severe breakout of the entire treatment. Your skin will become more dry and clusters of bumps similar to a mosquito bite might surface in affected areas. Don’t become alarmed or disgruntled during this difficult time. If you experience a breakout, it’s due to the dead demodex mites under your skin. As their bodies decay, the demodex produces bacteria inside the follicles of your skin. Once the bacteria is gone, the bumps will disappear and healthy skin will be revealed.  ( Yep, This is pretty much what happened. They could have warned how bad this would be)

Week 4:Noticeable improvements to your skin will become apparent. (Yep, my skin has been beautiful as you have seen)

Week 5-7:You’ll experience a series of light rashes and breakouts during this period. It won’t be nearly as bad as the initial “die-off” stage during weeks 2 and 3, but it might seem like a setback (it’s not). These breakouts are caused by the decaying demodex mites that recently hatched from the eggs of the demodex parents killed weeks prior. After this group of offspring are eliminated, you’ll begin enjoying clear and healthy skin.  (This is me now, it better not be as bad as before!) 

   So I have reached week 5 and now I am having some more die off which in return means p&p. My face isn't red and there is not as many in the usual areas, they are more on my temples and sides of my face where before they were mostly on my chin and cheeks. I have reached week 5, I'm not calling it a setback just part of the process. Like I said I just hope it doesn't get AS bad as before. 

   I decided to go ahead and do the nu-stock tonight. I might do it every few days through these next weeks but not everyday, it's just too strong. I forgot to take pictures until after I had applied it already so sorry about looking greasy and kinda gross, also it's night time so I didn't get good natural light pictures but you get the idea. Not bad, but not as good as it was. Also sorry I look a little crazy, I have been sick and feel like crap. 

Day 31

Day 20...and I'm feeling good.

   So it is now day 20 on my journey. I feel like it has been so much longer than that, it has been such an up and down 20 days. I haven't done the nu-stock in a few days, I think it is so harsh it isn't something I can do daily, maybe a once a week thing. I mean it REALLY does a big kill when you use it so it is worth it but it really is drying. Last night my face was so dry I just felt like I had this layer of dry dead skin that nothing was penetrating so I did an exfoliate with honey. So much better now, my face feels soft and smooth, such a nice change.

   Last night I did another borax bath, I soaked for about 20 minutes. My whole body loves it, even my dry feet are softer, it's pretty amazing stuff. I didn't want to mention this until I was sure I was going to stick with it but the last two days I have been doing the internal borax also. You can read more about it here. I don't recommend anyone doing anything that I am doing, I am just telling you what I do and documenting MY results. Also just because I have a particular result doesn't mean you will have the same results.

  Basically I have mixing 1/8th teaspoon of borax with a liter of water and sipping it throughout the day/night. It seems like such a little amount that it wouldn't do anything but I haven't been wanting to scratch my skin off so that is good. I can't taste it and I haven't had any other issues with it so far so I am sticking with it. I swear I am throwing everything I can find at these mites. Tea tree oil, nu-stock, honey, borax, everything lol. And just so people don't think I see something and just do it I do a LOT of reading, research and contemplating before trying any of these things and I suggest you do the same. Okay now on to the pictures.

These pictures are pretty accurate to color and everything. I am making horrible faces because the sun is shining right on face and in my eyes. But with all that natural light comes the most accurate pictures. I have one pimple under my nose that is healing and everything else that you see is drying up and healing. Nothing new and active, I just wish my texture would improve but I am sure it will over time and after everything heals completely.

Day 20

Day 17 HOLY CHIT!

   This morning I was woken by someone knocking on my door, now if you have a face that looks and acts like mine you know the state of panic and horror I was in having to answer the door without having looked in the mirror first. I was trying really hard to look down cover my face with my hair, it was ridiculous. So of course as soon as they left I ran to the mirror to see how bad I scared him and I was shocked.

   My face again had not a single pustule, not one AND my face was almost normal colored. It has a slight pink tinge but I think that is because of the sulfur and maybe I need to dilute it a little more. The texture on my face is starting to smooth out, it's crazy. I don't want to get my hopes up just to wake up with it red and swollen and full of pustules again so I am just going to enjoy it day by day and be happy with how it looks today.

   One thing is my face does still itch, I think it is because I need to dilute the sulfur more still. I itch the worst behind and right in front of my ears, my forehead and the back of my neck. Also my face is dry and scaly but a little argan oil will fix that up. It really is sad that my whole mood for the day if effected by how my face looks in the mirror but it does. If I can keep it heading in this direction I should be in a pretty good mood for a while. Okay, on to the pictures.

Day 17

Nu-stock update

   Okay, so I woke up to my face feeling flushed. Not sure what that is about, but it is warm to the touch and it is flushed in areas I don't usually flush. Alright let me back up to last night. So last night I tried the nu-stock for the first time, scroll back a post and read my first thoughts on texture, smell etc.. So after I put it on I could tell it was working because I could feel the little buggers trying to make a run for it. My face kept itching, but not in a I think I am breaking out in hives way, like the mites are dying way. Also I think this stuff gets into your bloodstream cause it was like I could taste is a little in the back of my throat. The itching did drive me a bit nuts and made it hard to sleep and actually I am a bit itchy right now.

   So when I woke up this morning I had about 20 tiny little pustules, and one bigger one. I think the bigger ones are maybe like little nest of them. You can't even see where the ones I had yesterday were, they come and go so quick. So that is a good and bad thing, it feels like a setback, but I think it's just the new ones hatching and being killed off, and it is following that timeline pretty well so I am just going to go with it and call it progress. Its still mentally and emotionally hard to look in the mirror and see your face covered in tiny little bumps and flushing and think of it as progress when 2 days ago you were just slightly pink and had one bump. I am trying really hard to not let it get me down.

   So on the nu-stock bottle is says apply every 3 days, so I think I will use it every 3 days and use the tto in between. I don't want to over do it with the nu-stock. Okay picture time.

**Update to original post. Please do a test patch to see how you react to Nu-Stock before using it, I do end up having an unpleasant response to it and I'm not sure if it was an allergic reaction or if my skin is just really sensitive. I would recommend putting a tiny bit either on your forearm or under your jawline first and waiting at least 2 days to see how you react before putting it on your entire face.**

Day 14

Nu-stock (Please read warning at the bottom of the post)

   So my Nu-stock* came in today and I think I am going to try it out. I am making a batch of 1 tbsp of coconut oil, 1 tbsp of nu-stock and about 7 drops tto. First the bottle is a LOT bigger than I thought it would be, it smells medical, and like pine scented cleaner. Not good but not horribly bad like I was expecting, tolerable. Also it is a lot thinner than I expected, more watery. I thought it would be more pasty like toothpaste or like neosporin, not liquid, I guess because of the tube it comes in I thought it would be thick like lotion or something. Being thin did make it a lot easier to mix it with the coconut oil once I melted the oil. I also made sure I shook the tube really well first to make sure everything mixed well. It's a weird yellow color, another thing I didn't expect, and I wondered if it would leave my skin yellow but it didn't. I used a q-tip and applied it to my entire face, it has a little bit of a gritty feeling to it but not much. The color dissipated right away and it's been about 5 minutes and it is starting to absorb. Coconut oil always takes a bit to absorb, I will give it about 30 minutes then blot my face with a tissue and go to bed. It didn't burn or sting or anything so that is a good sign. I will update the rest tomorrow I guess. Night!

**Update to original post. Please do a test patch to see how you react to Nu-Stock before using it, I do end up having an unpleasant response to it and I'm not sure if it was an allergic reaction or if my skin is just really sensitive. I would recommend putting a tiny bit either on your forearm or under your jawline first and waiting at least 2 days to see how you react before putting it on your entire face.**

Day 13...I knew this would happen.

   So I didn't come to the demodex conclusion or treatment out of the blue, I did a lot of read and a lot of research most of it here on a rosacea forum. While reading and researching I pretty much self diagnosed demodex mites as being my main culprit. I had all of the signs, the pustules, the redness, the itching, acne medicine not working a lot of different things. So when I figured out that was my problem next was to see what treatment options I had and see how they worked for different people. Some people had used borax, some had used sulfur, some had used a cream you order from over seas called ZZ cream or Zhongzhou Zinc Oxide and last some had used tea tree oil.

   While trying to chose which treatment to follow I read a couple of threads that people wrote chronicling their treatments and their ups and downs, (like I am doing here but without many pictures) to help decided which treatment I would follow. On one of the threads someone posted this from I believe the ZZ cream website called demodex solutions which tells you what you can expect week to week with treatment which I will put at the end of this post. Actually they have a lot of good info on their site so check it out here.

   So the reason I went with tea tree oil is simple really. First, I already had some, second I didn't have to order it from overseas and it kinda creeped me out that they won't tell you ALL the ingredients in the ZZ cream, they say ancient Chinese secret or some crap like that. (but the ZZ cream has good reviews!) I didn't want to do the borax because it just seemed so harsh, like using ajax on my face or something. And I did order the sulfur in the form of nu-stock. It is really hard to find a product that has a high enough sulfur content that it would actually be beneficial. My nu-stock comes today but I didn't want to wait that long to get it to start treatment so I went ahead with the tea tree oil and here we are today. I might bust out the nu-stock for the next two weeks....maybe.

  So with that being said, I KNEW that there would be setbacks, I knew I would break out again, I knew it was coming. That doesn't mean I have to like it! Yesterday my skin almost looked pretty! Almost. It was the best it had looked since I got back from California. And then I woke up today. Now don't get me wrong, it still looks way better, but it's a step back from yesterday. I am trying to think if I ate something, or was around something that might have triggered it but I can't think of anything. I really need to start keeping a food/face journal. But even so usually if I eat something my face doesn't agree with, it lets me know right away.

  Anyways, today I woke up and it really isn't bad, just not as good as yesterday so it made me blah. But my face was a little more red, and I had two BIG pustules and I have a big pimple under my lip on the right and another on the left half way between my lip and chin that are just being persistent for some reason. (that is one of the ways I can tell the difference in pustule and pimple, pimple is deeper under the skin and stays around a lot longer). I am not calling it a set back, but my face would react like this on a day where I have to go meet a bunch of new people. BTW I just had sushi and I don't think my face likes soy sauce, I can feel the flush coming! At least I don't eat it often. Okay so here is the week by week that I saw posted for the ZZ cream that I am guessing will apply to my face also and after that I will post today's pictures.

Week 1:

Itching begins to subside and your skin becomes calmer. In addition, preexisting pimples and bumps begin to shrink and dry.

Week 2-3:During this period, you’ll experience the most severe breakout of the entire treatment. Your skin will become more dry and clusters of bumps similar to a mosquito bite might surface in affected areas. Don’t become alarmed or disgruntled during this difficult time. If you experience a breakout, it’s due to the dead demodex mites under your skin. As their bodies decay, the demodex produces bacteria inside the follicles of your skin. Once the bacteria is gone, the bumps will disappear and healthy skin will be revealed.

Week 4:Noticeable improvements to your skin will become apparent.

Week 5-7:You’ll experience a series of light rashes and breakouts during this period. It won’t be nearly as bad as the initial “die-off” stage during weeks 2 and 3, but it might seem like a setback (it’s not). These breakouts are caused by the decaying demodex mites that recently hatched from the eggs of the demodex parents killed weeks prior. After this group of offspring are eliminated, you’ll begin enjoying clear and healthy skin.

Week 8:A treatment of 90 days is recommended for total elimination of the demodex mites, but after 60 days, you’ll begin reaping the rewards of your treatment. You’ll start receiving compliments from family and friends on account of your bright and healthy new skin. This is when you know you’re rounding the final stretch.

Week 9-12:Even though your skin looks and feels completely cured, continue the treatment for 12 weeks.

Week 13 & Beyond:Although a 90 day course is recommended, it’s important to complete maintenance by applying the demodex treatment 2 times per month. This ensures no new overgrowth of demodex mites and it keeps your skin in optimal condition so you can continue enjoying bright and healthy skin.

I am a woman who has become obsessed.

     So right now I am not working, I just got back from a month long trip to California and I haven't picked up any clients since I have been back. This has resulted in two things, me being broke and stressed, and me being obsessed with my face and how horrible it looks. I was just looking at pictures of me from two weeks ago with no makeup swimming and my skin was beautiful. Not perfect but as close to perfect as it gets for me. Depressing.

   So since I am currently not working and I refuse to leave my house unless it is related to school I have had a lot of spare time on my hands. What have I been doing with that spare time you ask? Obsessing over my face and how to cure it. For some reason in my head if I fix my face I will all of a sudden have a better life. I will have tons of friends and I will do things and I will go places and everything will be great. I know this is not true. All that will happen is I will sit at home and have a normal face. So now I just spend HOURS researching and looking for cures or fixes for rosacea that do not include me going to the doctor since I don't have insurance. I am pretty sure by the end of the week I will be an expert on all things rosacea, demodex mites and sub derm. I don't know why I am researching sub derm since I don't have it, but you never know, my skin is fickle like that.

   My face has had a few flashes on and off today, none lasting more than 30 minutes or so but man those 30 minutes seem to last FOREVER. Another thing I was thinking about is I ran out of oracea when I was still in California and my face remained fine, but the day after I returned back to New Orleans BAM! it was bad. I am wondering if it was coincidence and the oracea took a while to work it's way out of my system or if there is something in my house that is setting my face off or if it is the weather and humidity down here. Hmmm. Going to have to ponder that a while....or research it.

   One last thing, I ordered some nu-stock sulfur cream today, it should be in next week. I am not sure when I will try it or how often, I will have to go research that too.