Day 44.

   Sorry I have been really busy with work and clinical for school so I haven't had much time to write. Not to much has changed with my face, it's not as nice as it once was but I am still in that second outbreak period so I hope once this is over, it's over for good. My face isn't nearly as red but I do still get some breakouts but not nearly as bad. I have been feeling the creepy little suckers move again so they are definitely hatching and making a return, then dying hence the breakouts. As long as they keep dying that is all that matters. I am still using just the tea tree/argan oil mixture on my face and nothing else. My skin is finally getting over being dry again and is soft and smooth once more. That is really nice, I think I hate the dry flaky skin more than the break out. So that is about all right now. Starting August 2nd I will be doing a juice fast and then returning to my mostly plant based diet and I am hoping it will have a positive effect on not just my body and health but also my skin. Ok now I will shut up and post some pictures.

Day 44

Day 35. Getting better

   Sorry it has been a busy few days. My face is getting better, I did have a few pustules pop back up but they are already going away. The hives from the nu-stock are going away too which is awesome. My face doesn't itch anymore which is the biggest relief. My face is still a little sunburned looking but that is getting better and I can cover it with makeup but I am hoping it will go away like it did eventually after I used it the first time. Right now I am back in lizard mode with the flaky scaly skin. It is really annoying because it feels like a coat of armor that nothing can penetrate and no matter what I put in it never feels hydrated and when I do have makeup on to cover the redness you can literally see dry scales on my face. I am hoping like along with the redness this to shall go away like it did the last time I used nu-stock.

   Other than that my face looks pretty decent. I have a few little blemishes but even those are healing and going away. Crossing my fingers that my face goes back to how it was a week ago soon. It was so nice. I really have no reason to think that it won't especially since I KNOW it is possible. Okay on to the pictures. Sorry for the dead look, I had just woken up and was running late. I swear I really need to take a decent picture of me one of these days and post it.

Day 35

The itching is back

   So my face doesn't look any worse today but it usually takes a few days for the buggers to die and then for my skin to react. Right now it just itches, BAD. I think I am slightly allergic to the nu-stock or it just aggravates my skin. It's definitely not crawly mite itch, it's more like mosquito bite itch, especially behind my ears and on my forehead. I also noticed the they lymph nodes right in front of my ears are swollen and it was like that before when I did the nu-stock. Maybe that is why I got so sick, it was my body expressing all the toxins because those nodes had went down a lot. Anyways this is just me thinking out loud. The itching is really going to drive me insane. Oh and my skin is still soft and not dry...yet. 

Day 21, Look at that I put on a shirt!

   Day 21, not much has changed. Sorry if this is kinda boring but I like that my face is becoming kind of boring. Still just using the tea tree oil/argan oil 50/50 mix, I will probably pick one day a week and due the nu-stock/coconut oil mixture just to make sure things stay at bay and do the borax soak every second or third day. I have been drinking the borax mixture everyday for the last 3 days, I don't seem to be having any negative side effects and I can't taste it so why not.

   My face is REALLY dry still despite the honey mask and the pure shea butter I have been putting on. I think this is making my face itch now and not the mites. It's a different itch, the mites you can actually feel moving and it's really gross. I still get that every once and I while and when I do I hit that spot with a dab of tea tree oil and laugh an evil laugh as they die. Boowawahahahahaha. Yeah, kinda like that. So now I just have to find a balance to keeping the mites under control and keeping my face from cracking like the desert landscape. It's not so obvious unless you are right in my face like I am in the mirror all the time or if I am wearing makeup which I don't do a whole lot. So yeah, that is about it for now. Picture time! Oh and I was even nice enough to put on a shirt for you this time. Feeling fancy.....your welcome. One last thing, I haven't been doing close ups because there really isn't anything to see like the bazillions of p&p before but tomorrow when the sun is back I will try to get close ups so you can see how everything looks and how dry my skin is. Any tips on helping with that would be much appreciated!

Day 21

Day 20...and I'm feeling good.

   So it is now day 20 on my journey. I feel like it has been so much longer than that, it has been such an up and down 20 days. I haven't done the nu-stock in a few days, I think it is so harsh it isn't something I can do daily, maybe a once a week thing. I mean it REALLY does a big kill when you use it so it is worth it but it really is drying. Last night my face was so dry I just felt like I had this layer of dry dead skin that nothing was penetrating so I did an exfoliate with honey. So much better now, my face feels soft and smooth, such a nice change.

   Last night I did another borax bath, I soaked for about 20 minutes. My whole body loves it, even my dry feet are softer, it's pretty amazing stuff. I didn't want to mention this until I was sure I was going to stick with it but the last two days I have been doing the internal borax also. You can read more about it here. I don't recommend anyone doing anything that I am doing, I am just telling you what I do and documenting MY results. Also just because I have a particular result doesn't mean you will have the same results.

  Basically I have mixing 1/8th teaspoon of borax with a liter of water and sipping it throughout the day/night. It seems like such a little amount that it wouldn't do anything but I haven't been wanting to scratch my skin off so that is good. I can't taste it and I haven't had any other issues with it so far so I am sticking with it. I swear I am throwing everything I can find at these mites. Tea tree oil, nu-stock, honey, borax, everything lol. And just so people don't think I see something and just do it I do a LOT of reading, research and contemplating before trying any of these things and I suggest you do the same. Okay now on to the pictures.

These pictures are pretty accurate to color and everything. I am making horrible faces because the sun is shining right on face and in my eyes. But with all that natural light comes the most accurate pictures. I have one pimple under my nose that is healing and everything else that you see is drying up and healing. Nothing new and active, I just wish my texture would improve but I am sure it will over time and after everything heals completely.

Day 20

Day 19

   So last night I put on the argan oil/tea tree oil mixture before I left for work. I am giving my face a little break from the Nu-stock, my face seemed to have a slight pink ting all over and it was super drying and my face just needed a break. Okay back to last night, so I brought my oil with me to work and whenever I felt one moving making me insane I put some oil on it.

   My face is much paler than it was but it is still pink, especially on my cheeks but  I think a lot of that is broken capillaries that I need to have zapped again. My forehead is still covered in a bazillion bumps that itch like crazy and I have gotten a bunch behind my ears that itch too. Another reason I am giving my face a break from the nu-stock is I can tell that the chemicals were burning my skin a little because I looked like a wearing a slight pink mask and my skin was pale around my eyes. It isn't enough for anyone else to notice but I could.

   Did I mention my forehead itches like crazy? Later today I am going to take a borax soak in the tub, but for now pictures. I am not going to do the up close ones because there is nothing to see. I don't have any new pustules just a pimple, well on my face anyways. I am starting to get some on my chest, hence the borax bath. So weird that I can say I have no new pustule. On to the pictures, sorry I look like I am in pain, the sun was shining in my eyes.

Day 19

Day 18. Make it stop

   Working all night gave me the pleasure of feeling them at their most active time instead of sleeping through it. Let me tell you, I am surprised I still have a face I wanted to scratch it off so bad. I am trying really hard not to scratch so I kind of pat instead which turned into smacking. So basically all night I was beating the shit out of myself. I sure hope this couple doesn't have a nanny cam or they are going to think I am insane. I could feel them on my face, and on my head the worst but they are now moving down to my chest and back. I would take pictures of my chest to show you the pustules popping up there but I am trying to keep this PG 13 except for language.

   Have you ever seen that show 1,000 ways to die? If not the premise of the show is reenactments of stupid shit people did that killed them. Snorted ants, tapeworm diet, college age guys participating in stupid bets or pranks, you get the drift. Well I have a feeling I am going to end up on this show when I die trying to figure out a way to rid my body of these damn mites. They are driving me INSANE. So because they are driving me insane I have resorted to putting animal mange medicine on my face, bathing in laundry detergent and now I am about to start drinking laundry detergent because the topical shit isn't cutting it, and if I really have to I will be going for the horse dewormer next. And this my friends, is how I am going to end up on that stupid show 1,000 ways to die.

   Okay I'm tired, on to the pictures and off to bed. Sorry if they are not THAT accurate I just got out the shower so I'm a little more flushed than normal. OH I almost forgot, just a FYI if you are treating your lashes with tto and you accidentally use the 50/50 bottle instead of the 1:8 bottle and your eyelids feel like they are frying first, DON'T PUT WATER ON THEM, it only makes it worse, but do coat them in coconut oil and it makes them stop burning immediately. Not that this has happened to me or anything, just something I heard somewhere.

Day 18

Ahhhhhhh

My face is itching like crazy! Usually I am asleep so maybe it's not this bad or maybe the oils I put on kills them but they are active and driving me nuts! I feel like a dog with fleas. It's driving me insane! My eyes are gritty and dry and other places are starting to itch like my chest. I think I am going to do a borax soak when I get home. I just don't know how I can treat my face at night when I am at work. I can't keep putting on oils and nu-stock all night at work. Hmmm. Any suggestions?

Nightly wrap up

   So my face has remained pustule free all day and pretty pale for me. Besides the peeling dryness and bumpy texture it looks pretty close to normal. It is dry and scaly around my mouth where I had the most p&p and my forehead is still covered in a million bumps but they are going down.

   I am starting a new job tonight so I am putting on my nu-stock now so it will soak in before I leave. Also I did nu-stock from my eyes down and tto on my forehead just in case my forehead is reacting to the nu-stock.  Okay I'm out.

   One last thing, I have noticed that other places on my body are starting to itch and I am going to have to really get serious with the borax baths. 

Day 17 HOLY CHIT!

   This morning I was woken by someone knocking on my door, now if you have a face that looks and acts like mine you know the state of panic and horror I was in having to answer the door without having looked in the mirror first. I was trying really hard to look down cover my face with my hair, it was ridiculous. So of course as soon as they left I ran to the mirror to see how bad I scared him and I was shocked.

   My face again had not a single pustule, not one AND my face was almost normal colored. It has a slight pink tinge but I think that is because of the sulfur and maybe I need to dilute it a little more. The texture on my face is starting to smooth out, it's crazy. I don't want to get my hopes up just to wake up with it red and swollen and full of pustules again so I am just going to enjoy it day by day and be happy with how it looks today.

   One thing is my face does still itch, I think it is because I need to dilute the sulfur more still. I itch the worst behind and right in front of my ears, my forehead and the back of my neck. Also my face is dry and scaly but a little argan oil will fix that up. It really is sad that my whole mood for the day if effected by how my face looks in the mirror but it does. If I can keep it heading in this direction I should be in a pretty good mood for a while. Okay, on to the pictures.

Day 17

Nightly wrap up.

   Today was pretty uneventful which is awesome. I didn't flush, I didn't get any new pustules nothing. My skin has been a bit dry but that is to be expected. Shit since these little buggers eat oil on your skin maybe I can starve them to death. My forehead, ears, behind ears and scalp have been REALLY itchy but that is about it. It's not so much of the crawly itch, just itchy.

   My skin never reacted to the test patch I did on my forearm so I guess I am good to keep using the nu-stock and that is just about a million dead mites on my forehead and not hives or anything. It's insane how many bumps I have on my face, my mom was over and she was like "all of those bumps are dead mites!, No wonder, you were just covered in them!" So gross. So it looks like I just have a REALLY bad infestation.

   Skin wise today I washed my face with tto soap when I got home to take off the makeup I put on when I ran to the store, I put on some pure argan oil after cause my face was super dry. I read a little bit about the borax treatment and I just don't think the tto shampoo and soap are strong enough to kill the mites so I got some borax and hydrogen peroxide at the store and made a bath with it and soaked in it for about 20 minutes. I did 1 1/2 cups of borax and 1 cup of peroxide and I soaked on my back for a bit, then on my belly then side to side being sure to let it get into my ears and kept dunking my face and my scalp. When I was done I didn't rinse or towel dry, I got in front of my fan and air dried. I might do this every other day or every 3 days just to make sure I am really getting everywhere. I keep reading stories of people chasing these things from one spot on their body to another and I don't want to do that. I just want them gone. Okay, so I am about to go put on my coconut oil nu-stock night mask, I will update when I wake up. Night.

Day 16 I feel like my face is f*cking with me

   Seriously, I feel like it is playing with my emotions. Like it does well and then BAM bad day just to fuck with me and then goes back to doing well. So, ready for my theory? I did the nu-stock with the coconut oil on Thursday night and was fine, I think that did a MASSIVE extermination. Friday I was fine because my body wasn't reacting to the dead mites yet, I tried to mix the nu-stock with the argan oil but the argan oil isn't a strong enough oil to counteract how strong the nu-stock is and that is why it started to burn and I took it off. Also the argan absorbs quicker and better than coconut oil so I think it drew it deeper into my skin and more of it than the coconut oil. Just glad I took it off. But yesterday all of the mites started to breakdown and that is what our body reacts to so that is why my face looked like hell. It was reacting to the overload of hundreds of dead mites.

   So last night I diluted the nu-stock even further with coconut oil and applied it to my entire face and below and behind my ears because I had been itchy there too lately, like they are making a run for it. I figured my face was already beet red and broke out, why stop now, just push through it.

   Today I woke up and I didn't have a single pustule. Not one. My face is still redish but not like yesterday and my forehead is COVERED in bumps (well now my whole face is) but no pustule. Now let me explain what I define as pustule, a pustule to me is a raised lesion with a white head on it that looks like it needs so be popped, there are shallower than pimples and usually go away once they have been popped. They usually show up and leave withing 24 hours. It's like it's a toxin that is expelled through my skin and when it's expelled it's gone, unlike a pimple which is a clogged pore that likes to get big and hang around.

   So my forehead has hundreds of these tiny bumps all over it and I can't decide if they are dead mites or an allergic reaction to the nu-stock. I am going to do a test patch on my forearm to see how my sink reacts to the mixture I used last night. I have to say my face does itch like crazy. But if the nu-stock can kill off that many mites at once, I will keep using it at least once a week to knock these suckers out. Also I am going to do a borax bath later to treat the rest of my body. Okay I have a lot of pictures today, full face, close ups and a comparison with yesterday so you can see how insane my skin is. The forehead ones you can't really see how many bumps there are. Right now the texture of my skin is fucked.  P.S. Sorry for the serial killer eyes.

Day 16

   

End of the day rant.

   So, today sucked. I am just really bummed out and depressed and just wanted to lay in bed and cry but I didn't get to do that. I had to go drop a placenta off to a client (I do placenta encapsulation) and she had a house full of people. I just wanted to hide my face but she wanted to invite me in to see the baby and meet everyone. It was really nice of her but did she not see my strawberry face and that I needed to be hidden from public! On my way home I remembered I need to go to Walmart to pick up my meds. Shit, there is no way to walk into a Walmart anywhere in the country and not see someone you know. I could go to one in Alaska and see someone I know. It's ridiculous. Of course when I get there its not ready so I have to sit and wait. I try to sink and disappear but it doesn't happen. For some reason the other people there wanted to engage me in conversation. People! Again, can you not see my strawberry face and the slouching and wanting to disappear! LEAVE ME ALONE. So I finally get home and my mother, aunt, gmaw and niece show up..... Can I PLEASE just go bury my head under a pillow and hide people! Apparently not. So by this point I am upset, stressed, and at my breaking point when my mother wants computer lessons and my niece wants to watch a movie that I can't find. And then because I am snapping I am the mean, bitchy person. Also for all of the people that asked me today (and there were more than a few) If your face looked like this do you THINK it would hurt?! YES! Yes, if fucking hurts. It BURNS! Just a slight change in temperature BURNS and I am living in the swamp where it is 70 or below in a building and about 100 outside with 100% humidity. You LOOKING at...that hurts. Yes I have been to a doctor, no it is not contagious, yes I think I should put something on it. Thank god you were here for those suggestions because I would have never thought of that. Oh and the "If you think your face hurts, well it's killing me jokes" are old. Try something new. Goodnight.

P.S. My forehead, that never, ever gets bumps is covered in them. I wish you could see how bad in the picture but oh well

It's amazing how a 5 year old can bum you out.

   So my face was pretty red today, I woke up flushed and it stayed pretty persistent all day. I'm not sure if it was the nu-stock or if it's that 2-3 week  backslide you are suppose to go through or what but it sucks. My face just kept popping up with more pustules during the day, which is awesome since I had a job interview today. My makeup just made the red look purple. Lucky me! Then my niece is spending the night and she looks at me after her bath and says "Nanny, why is your face always so red and have pimples?" She's 5 so she is still learning what is okay to ask and not. My mom told her that isn't nice to ask that, and her innocence she was just like "well no one else has a red face or that many pimples, I was just asking." Yeah.

   So that has put me in such a great state of mind. My family likes to tell me you can't tell and it's not that red or noticeable. Then you bring a honest 5 year old around and get the truth. Anyways, tonight I was going to do the nu-stock again but with argan oil since it absorbs quicker and I like it but when I mixed it up and put it on it started to burn so I washed my face right away. So now my face is even a little more red, yippee, so I just put on some argan and tto and now I am off to bed. Night

Nu-stock update

   Okay, so I woke up to my face feeling flushed. Not sure what that is about, but it is warm to the touch and it is flushed in areas I don't usually flush. Alright let me back up to last night. So last night I tried the nu-stock for the first time, scroll back a post and read my first thoughts on texture, smell etc.. So after I put it on I could tell it was working because I could feel the little buggers trying to make a run for it. My face kept itching, but not in a I think I am breaking out in hives way, like the mites are dying way. Also I think this stuff gets into your bloodstream cause it was like I could taste is a little in the back of my throat. The itching did drive me a bit nuts and made it hard to sleep and actually I am a bit itchy right now.

   So when I woke up this morning I had about 20 tiny little pustules, and one bigger one. I think the bigger ones are maybe like little nest of them. You can't even see where the ones I had yesterday were, they come and go so quick. So that is a good and bad thing, it feels like a setback, but I think it's just the new ones hatching and being killed off, and it is following that timeline pretty well so I am just going to go with it and call it progress. Its still mentally and emotionally hard to look in the mirror and see your face covered in tiny little bumps and flushing and think of it as progress when 2 days ago you were just slightly pink and had one bump. I am trying really hard to not let it get me down.

   So on the nu-stock bottle is says apply every 3 days, so I think I will use it every 3 days and use the tto in between. I don't want to over do it with the nu-stock. Okay picture time.

**Update to original post. Please do a test patch to see how you react to Nu-Stock before using it, I do end up having an unpleasant response to it and I'm not sure if it was an allergic reaction or if my skin is just really sensitive. I would recommend putting a tiny bit either on your forearm or under your jawline first and waiting at least 2 days to see how you react before putting it on your entire face.**

Day 14

Another confession. Sorry this is a gross one.

   So I have already posted pictures of my face in all out war with my skin, with no makeup, and close up, so you have already seen me ways I would never ever let someone in real life see me so I might as well admit to it all. It's safe to be open and honest behind a keyboard. I am a picker. I pick at my face constantly. I don't know why, and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I most of the time I don't even consciously do it. When I realize I do it I stop....most of the time. My mom even today at the age of 33 will tell me to stop or smack my hand. LOL.

   I know that picking at it delays the healing of even causes scarring and me touching my face just introduces more bacteria to my face but I can't help it! I can't seem to stop. I was the little kid who always picked scabs. I have always hated the rough texture or the dry flaky texture. I know I do it a lot more when I am stressed and I tend to do it when I am zoning out watching T.V. or something but I just don't know how to stop.

   With my rosacea being mostly p&p my face tends to be really scabby feeling and dry. It doesn't LOOK scabby but it feels it and the more I pick, the more scabby it becomes. It's an endless cycle. If I could just leave my face alone and not freaking touch it I am sure it would heal ten times faster but I can't seem to do that. It's like a compulsion. So there you have it, I have never admitted it (but I am sure most people notice because I can't keep my hand off my face) I am a picker. Sorry that is really gross.


P.S. I am still drinking coke.....going to hang my head and shame and try not to pick. Night everyone. 

Itching.

   So when I woke up today I had a few more p&p, I had 5 in totally but still beats waking up to 20-30! Plus I now know that I p&p means a dead mite so victory to me!! My face all and all continues to improve, same thing 8:1 in the am, shea butter on dry spots and 1:1 at night plus the shampoo, conditioner and soap.

    I have noticed tonight that my face is REALLY itchy and so is my scalp and eyes. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad but I know it is annoying. Sometimes when I am in public I become super aware of my scratching and people looking at me, maybe I am just overly paranoid but whatever, what can you do? There is nothing worse than an itch you can not scratch. Sometimes at night my face will itch so much that I can't go to sleep. I don't know if anyone else deals with this but if so, how?! Seriously, email me, comment whatever but let me know how.

   My face in general looks better, a few of the p&p I have been getting are in areas I never got them before, high on my cheeks, my nose and forehead. I usually just get them around my mouth and chin but I guess with me treating my whole face they are dying off on my whole face. It's so weird to me how they have always been in a concentrated area, I wonder why. Also why I don't have the same reaction on other parts of my body.

   Ok well on to the pictures, today I took pictures in two different lights so you can see the progress. I am not really sure which shows it better so I will just post both! You can see how faded the red is and how it is more of a pinkish tone. Now the texture is my biggest problem, it's really hard to hide the texture with makeup.

Day 11

 This was indirect natural light

These are direct natural light.