Day 31, All good things must come to an end

   So my face was beautiful and it was really nice but all good things must come to an end. Actually it's not bad, I did develop a few p&p today but nothing bad. I knew it was coming so I am not freaking out....Yet. I went back and looked at the time line and it said

Week 2-3:During this period, you’ll experience the most severe breakout of the entire treatment. Your skin will become more dry and clusters of bumps similar to a mosquito bite might surface in affected areas. Don’t become alarmed or disgruntled during this difficult time. If you experience a breakout, it’s due to the dead demodex mites under your skin. As their bodies decay, the demodex produces bacteria inside the follicles of your skin. Once the bacteria is gone, the bumps will disappear and healthy skin will be revealed.  ( Yep, This is pretty much what happened. They could have warned how bad this would be)

Week 4:Noticeable improvements to your skin will become apparent. (Yep, my skin has been beautiful as you have seen)

Week 5-7:You’ll experience a series of light rashes and breakouts during this period. It won’t be nearly as bad as the initial “die-off” stage during weeks 2 and 3, but it might seem like a setback (it’s not). These breakouts are caused by the decaying demodex mites that recently hatched from the eggs of the demodex parents killed weeks prior. After this group of offspring are eliminated, you’ll begin enjoying clear and healthy skin.  (This is me now, it better not be as bad as before!) 

   So I have reached week 5 and now I am having some more die off which in return means p&p. My face isn't red and there is not as many in the usual areas, they are more on my temples and sides of my face where before they were mostly on my chin and cheeks. I have reached week 5, I'm not calling it a setback just part of the process. Like I said I just hope it doesn't get AS bad as before. 

   I decided to go ahead and do the nu-stock tonight. I might do it every few days through these next weeks but not everyday, it's just too strong. I forgot to take pictures until after I had applied it already so sorry about looking greasy and kinda gross, also it's night time so I didn't get good natural light pictures but you get the idea. Not bad, but not as good as it was. Also sorry I look a little crazy, I have been sick and feel like crap. 

Day 31

End of the day rant.

   So, today sucked. I am just really bummed out and depressed and just wanted to lay in bed and cry but I didn't get to do that. I had to go drop a placenta off to a client (I do placenta encapsulation) and she had a house full of people. I just wanted to hide my face but she wanted to invite me in to see the baby and meet everyone. It was really nice of her but did she not see my strawberry face and that I needed to be hidden from public! On my way home I remembered I need to go to Walmart to pick up my meds. Shit, there is no way to walk into a Walmart anywhere in the country and not see someone you know. I could go to one in Alaska and see someone I know. It's ridiculous. Of course when I get there its not ready so I have to sit and wait. I try to sink and disappear but it doesn't happen. For some reason the other people there wanted to engage me in conversation. People! Again, can you not see my strawberry face and the slouching and wanting to disappear! LEAVE ME ALONE. So I finally get home and my mother, aunt, gmaw and niece show up..... Can I PLEASE just go bury my head under a pillow and hide people! Apparently not. So by this point I am upset, stressed, and at my breaking point when my mother wants computer lessons and my niece wants to watch a movie that I can't find. And then because I am snapping I am the mean, bitchy person. Also for all of the people that asked me today (and there were more than a few) If your face looked like this do you THINK it would hurt?! YES! Yes, if fucking hurts. It BURNS! Just a slight change in temperature BURNS and I am living in the swamp where it is 70 or below in a building and about 100 outside with 100% humidity. You LOOKING at...that hurts. Yes I have been to a doctor, no it is not contagious, yes I think I should put something on it. Thank god you were here for those suggestions because I would have never thought of that. Oh and the "If you think your face hurts, well it's killing me jokes" are old. Try something new. Goodnight.

P.S. My forehead, that never, ever gets bumps is covered in them. I wish you could see how bad in the picture but oh well

Day 15, this is really bad

   So I knew it would get worse, I never thought it would get this bad. My face possible looks the worst it ever has, EVER. I don't know if it was the nu-stock or a big die off of mites or what but it is super bad. My face looks like a strawberry, it's slightly swollen, it hurts and I woke up to about 100 tiny pustules, to many to count. I was in shock when I looked in the mirror this morning. I mean I guess it's a good thing that I managed to kill off that many mites but damn, I am not leaving my house unless I HAVE to. I usually on show the close ups but today I am going to show close ups and my full face so you can get the full effect. That's all I can say right now. I am going to go cry now. Warning you may not want to look at these pictures.

*Update to original. Please do a test patch to see how you react to Nu-Stock before using it, I do end up having an unpleasant response to it (as you can see here) and I'm not sure if it was an allergic reaction or if my skin is just really sensitive. I would recommend putting a tiny bit either on your forearm or under your jawline first and waiting at least 2 days to see how you react before putting it on your entire face.**

Day 15

It's amazing how a 5 year old can bum you out.

   So my face was pretty red today, I woke up flushed and it stayed pretty persistent all day. I'm not sure if it was the nu-stock or if it's that 2-3 week  backslide you are suppose to go through or what but it sucks. My face just kept popping up with more pustules during the day, which is awesome since I had a job interview today. My makeup just made the red look purple. Lucky me! Then my niece is spending the night and she looks at me after her bath and says "Nanny, why is your face always so red and have pimples?" She's 5 so she is still learning what is okay to ask and not. My mom told her that isn't nice to ask that, and her innocence she was just like "well no one else has a red face or that many pimples, I was just asking." Yeah.

   So that has put me in such a great state of mind. My family likes to tell me you can't tell and it's not that red or noticeable. Then you bring a honest 5 year old around and get the truth. Anyways, tonight I was going to do the nu-stock again but with argan oil since it absorbs quicker and I like it but when I mixed it up and put it on it started to burn so I washed my face right away. So now my face is even a little more red, yippee, so I just put on some argan and tto and now I am off to bed. Night

Nu-stock update

   Okay, so I woke up to my face feeling flushed. Not sure what that is about, but it is warm to the touch and it is flushed in areas I don't usually flush. Alright let me back up to last night. So last night I tried the nu-stock for the first time, scroll back a post and read my first thoughts on texture, smell etc.. So after I put it on I could tell it was working because I could feel the little buggers trying to make a run for it. My face kept itching, but not in a I think I am breaking out in hives way, like the mites are dying way. Also I think this stuff gets into your bloodstream cause it was like I could taste is a little in the back of my throat. The itching did drive me a bit nuts and made it hard to sleep and actually I am a bit itchy right now.

   So when I woke up this morning I had about 20 tiny little pustules, and one bigger one. I think the bigger ones are maybe like little nest of them. You can't even see where the ones I had yesterday were, they come and go so quick. So that is a good and bad thing, it feels like a setback, but I think it's just the new ones hatching and being killed off, and it is following that timeline pretty well so I am just going to go with it and call it progress. Its still mentally and emotionally hard to look in the mirror and see your face covered in tiny little bumps and flushing and think of it as progress when 2 days ago you were just slightly pink and had one bump. I am trying really hard to not let it get me down.

   So on the nu-stock bottle is says apply every 3 days, so I think I will use it every 3 days and use the tto in between. I don't want to over do it with the nu-stock. Okay picture time.

**Update to original post. Please do a test patch to see how you react to Nu-Stock before using it, I do end up having an unpleasant response to it and I'm not sure if it was an allergic reaction or if my skin is just really sensitive. I would recommend putting a tiny bit either on your forearm or under your jawline first and waiting at least 2 days to see how you react before putting it on your entire face.**

Day 14

Day 13...I knew this would happen.

   So I didn't come to the demodex conclusion or treatment out of the blue, I did a lot of read and a lot of research most of it here on a rosacea forum. While reading and researching I pretty much self diagnosed demodex mites as being my main culprit. I had all of the signs, the pustules, the redness, the itching, acne medicine not working a lot of different things. So when I figured out that was my problem next was to see what treatment options I had and see how they worked for different people. Some people had used borax, some had used sulfur, some had used a cream you order from over seas called ZZ cream or Zhongzhou Zinc Oxide and last some had used tea tree oil.

   While trying to chose which treatment to follow I read a couple of threads that people wrote chronicling their treatments and their ups and downs, (like I am doing here but without many pictures) to help decided which treatment I would follow. On one of the threads someone posted this from I believe the ZZ cream website called demodex solutions which tells you what you can expect week to week with treatment which I will put at the end of this post. Actually they have a lot of good info on their site so check it out here.

   So the reason I went with tea tree oil is simple really. First, I already had some, second I didn't have to order it from overseas and it kinda creeped me out that they won't tell you ALL the ingredients in the ZZ cream, they say ancient Chinese secret or some crap like that. (but the ZZ cream has good reviews!) I didn't want to do the borax because it just seemed so harsh, like using ajax on my face or something. And I did order the sulfur in the form of nu-stock. It is really hard to find a product that has a high enough sulfur content that it would actually be beneficial. My nu-stock comes today but I didn't want to wait that long to get it to start treatment so I went ahead with the tea tree oil and here we are today. I might bust out the nu-stock for the next two weeks....maybe.

  So with that being said, I KNEW that there would be setbacks, I knew I would break out again, I knew it was coming. That doesn't mean I have to like it! Yesterday my skin almost looked pretty! Almost. It was the best it had looked since I got back from California. And then I woke up today. Now don't get me wrong, it still looks way better, but it's a step back from yesterday. I am trying to think if I ate something, or was around something that might have triggered it but I can't think of anything. I really need to start keeping a food/face journal. But even so usually if I eat something my face doesn't agree with, it lets me know right away.

  Anyways, today I woke up and it really isn't bad, just not as good as yesterday so it made me blah. But my face was a little more red, and I had two BIG pustules and I have a big pimple under my lip on the right and another on the left half way between my lip and chin that are just being persistent for some reason. (that is one of the ways I can tell the difference in pustule and pimple, pimple is deeper under the skin and stays around a lot longer). I am not calling it a set back, but my face would react like this on a day where I have to go meet a bunch of new people. BTW I just had sushi and I don't think my face likes soy sauce, I can feel the flush coming! At least I don't eat it often. Okay so here is the week by week that I saw posted for the ZZ cream that I am guessing will apply to my face also and after that I will post today's pictures.

Week 1:

Itching begins to subside and your skin becomes calmer. In addition, preexisting pimples and bumps begin to shrink and dry.

Week 2-3:During this period, you’ll experience the most severe breakout of the entire treatment. Your skin will become more dry and clusters of bumps similar to a mosquito bite might surface in affected areas. Don’t become alarmed or disgruntled during this difficult time. If you experience a breakout, it’s due to the dead demodex mites under your skin. As their bodies decay, the demodex produces bacteria inside the follicles of your skin. Once the bacteria is gone, the bumps will disappear and healthy skin will be revealed.

Week 4:Noticeable improvements to your skin will become apparent.

Week 5-7:You’ll experience a series of light rashes and breakouts during this period. It won’t be nearly as bad as the initial “die-off” stage during weeks 2 and 3, but it might seem like a setback (it’s not). These breakouts are caused by the decaying demodex mites that recently hatched from the eggs of the demodex parents killed weeks prior. After this group of offspring are eliminated, you’ll begin enjoying clear and healthy skin.

Week 8:A treatment of 90 days is recommended for total elimination of the demodex mites, but after 60 days, you’ll begin reaping the rewards of your treatment. You’ll start receiving compliments from family and friends on account of your bright and healthy new skin. This is when you know you’re rounding the final stretch.

Week 9-12:Even though your skin looks and feels completely cured, continue the treatment for 12 weeks.

Week 13 & Beyond:Although a 90 day course is recommended, it’s important to complete maintenance by applying the demodex treatment 2 times per month. This ensures no new overgrowth of demodex mites and it keeps your skin in optimal condition so you can continue enjoying bright and healthy skin.

Itching.

   So when I woke up today I had a few more p&p, I had 5 in totally but still beats waking up to 20-30! Plus I now know that I p&p means a dead mite so victory to me!! My face all and all continues to improve, same thing 8:1 in the am, shea butter on dry spots and 1:1 at night plus the shampoo, conditioner and soap.

    I have noticed tonight that my face is REALLY itchy and so is my scalp and eyes. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad but I know it is annoying. Sometimes when I am in public I become super aware of my scratching and people looking at me, maybe I am just overly paranoid but whatever, what can you do? There is nothing worse than an itch you can not scratch. Sometimes at night my face will itch so much that I can't go to sleep. I don't know if anyone else deals with this but if so, how?! Seriously, email me, comment whatever but let me know how.

   My face in general looks better, a few of the p&p I have been getting are in areas I never got them before, high on my cheeks, my nose and forehead. I usually just get them around my mouth and chin but I guess with me treating my whole face they are dying off on my whole face. It's so weird to me how they have always been in a concentrated area, I wonder why. Also why I don't have the same reaction on other parts of my body.

   Ok well on to the pictures, today I took pictures in two different lights so you can see the progress. I am not really sure which shows it better so I will just post both! You can see how faded the red is and how it is more of a pinkish tone. Now the texture is my biggest problem, it's really hard to hide the texture with makeup.

Day 11

 This was indirect natural light

These are direct natural light.

Crap

So I woke up this morning and first thought was, well my face FEELS good....then I looked in the mirror. Crap. My face might FEEL good but it looks like SHIT. I don't know if it is because I used a wash cloth to wash it last night (that's my thought since it burned) or if it is just more mites dying off. Supposedly each p&p is a dead mite which means they are dying off and I should be happy, but having your face look like this makes it really hard to be happy.  Oh and I found a way to take pictures that shows my skin more accurately.
Day 6