Day 35. Getting better

   Sorry it has been a busy few days. My face is getting better, I did have a few pustules pop back up but they are already going away. The hives from the nu-stock are going away too which is awesome. My face doesn't itch anymore which is the biggest relief. My face is still a little sunburned looking but that is getting better and I can cover it with makeup but I am hoping it will go away like it did eventually after I used it the first time. Right now I am back in lizard mode with the flaky scaly skin. It is really annoying because it feels like a coat of armor that nothing can penetrate and no matter what I put in it never feels hydrated and when I do have makeup on to cover the redness you can literally see dry scales on my face. I am hoping like along with the redness this to shall go away like it did the last time I used nu-stock.

   Other than that my face looks pretty decent. I have a few little blemishes but even those are healing and going away. Crossing my fingers that my face goes back to how it was a week ago soon. It was so nice. I really have no reason to think that it won't especially since I KNOW it is possible. Okay on to the pictures. Sorry for the dead look, I had just woken up and was running late. I swear I really need to take a decent picture of me one of these days and post it.

Day 35

The itching is back

   So my face doesn't look any worse today but it usually takes a few days for the buggers to die and then for my skin to react. Right now it just itches, BAD. I think I am slightly allergic to the nu-stock or it just aggravates my skin. It's definitely not crawly mite itch, it's more like mosquito bite itch, especially behind my ears and on my forehead. I also noticed the they lymph nodes right in front of my ears are swollen and it was like that before when I did the nu-stock. Maybe that is why I got so sick, it was my body expressing all the toxins because those nodes had went down a lot. Anyways this is just me thinking out loud. The itching is really going to drive me insane. Oh and my skin is still soft and not dry...yet. 

Day 31, All good things must come to an end

   So my face was beautiful and it was really nice but all good things must come to an end. Actually it's not bad, I did develop a few p&p today but nothing bad. I knew it was coming so I am not freaking out....Yet. I went back and looked at the time line and it said

Week 2-3:During this period, you’ll experience the most severe breakout of the entire treatment. Your skin will become more dry and clusters of bumps similar to a mosquito bite might surface in affected areas. Don’t become alarmed or disgruntled during this difficult time. If you experience a breakout, it’s due to the dead demodex mites under your skin. As their bodies decay, the demodex produces bacteria inside the follicles of your skin. Once the bacteria is gone, the bumps will disappear and healthy skin will be revealed.  ( Yep, This is pretty much what happened. They could have warned how bad this would be)

Week 4:Noticeable improvements to your skin will become apparent. (Yep, my skin has been beautiful as you have seen)

Week 5-7:You’ll experience a series of light rashes and breakouts during this period. It won’t be nearly as bad as the initial “die-off” stage during weeks 2 and 3, but it might seem like a setback (it’s not). These breakouts are caused by the decaying demodex mites that recently hatched from the eggs of the demodex parents killed weeks prior. After this group of offspring are eliminated, you’ll begin enjoying clear and healthy skin.  (This is me now, it better not be as bad as before!) 

   So I have reached week 5 and now I am having some more die off which in return means p&p. My face isn't red and there is not as many in the usual areas, they are more on my temples and sides of my face where before they were mostly on my chin and cheeks. I have reached week 5, I'm not calling it a setback just part of the process. Like I said I just hope it doesn't get AS bad as before. 

   I decided to go ahead and do the nu-stock tonight. I might do it every few days through these next weeks but not everyday, it's just too strong. I forgot to take pictures until after I had applied it already so sorry about looking greasy and kinda gross, also it's night time so I didn't get good natural light pictures but you get the idea. Not bad, but not as good as it was. Also sorry I look a little crazy, I have been sick and feel like crap. 

Day 31

Day 21, Look at that I put on a shirt!

   Day 21, not much has changed. Sorry if this is kinda boring but I like that my face is becoming kind of boring. Still just using the tea tree oil/argan oil 50/50 mix, I will probably pick one day a week and due the nu-stock/coconut oil mixture just to make sure things stay at bay and do the borax soak every second or third day. I have been drinking the borax mixture everyday for the last 3 days, I don't seem to be having any negative side effects and I can't taste it so why not.

   My face is REALLY dry still despite the honey mask and the pure shea butter I have been putting on. I think this is making my face itch now and not the mites. It's a different itch, the mites you can actually feel moving and it's really gross. I still get that every once and I while and when I do I hit that spot with a dab of tea tree oil and laugh an evil laugh as they die. Boowawahahahahaha. Yeah, kinda like that. So now I just have to find a balance to keeping the mites under control and keeping my face from cracking like the desert landscape. It's not so obvious unless you are right in my face like I am in the mirror all the time or if I am wearing makeup which I don't do a whole lot. So yeah, that is about it for now. Picture time! Oh and I was even nice enough to put on a shirt for you this time. Feeling fancy.....your welcome. One last thing, I haven't been doing close ups because there really isn't anything to see like the bazillions of p&p before but tomorrow when the sun is back I will try to get close ups so you can see how everything looks and how dry my skin is. Any tips on helping with that would be much appreciated!

Day 21

Day 20...and I'm feeling good.

   So it is now day 20 on my journey. I feel like it has been so much longer than that, it has been such an up and down 20 days. I haven't done the nu-stock in a few days, I think it is so harsh it isn't something I can do daily, maybe a once a week thing. I mean it REALLY does a big kill when you use it so it is worth it but it really is drying. Last night my face was so dry I just felt like I had this layer of dry dead skin that nothing was penetrating so I did an exfoliate with honey. So much better now, my face feels soft and smooth, such a nice change.

   Last night I did another borax bath, I soaked for about 20 minutes. My whole body loves it, even my dry feet are softer, it's pretty amazing stuff. I didn't want to mention this until I was sure I was going to stick with it but the last two days I have been doing the internal borax also. You can read more about it here. I don't recommend anyone doing anything that I am doing, I am just telling you what I do and documenting MY results. Also just because I have a particular result doesn't mean you will have the same results.

  Basically I have mixing 1/8th teaspoon of borax with a liter of water and sipping it throughout the day/night. It seems like such a little amount that it wouldn't do anything but I haven't been wanting to scratch my skin off so that is good. I can't taste it and I haven't had any other issues with it so far so I am sticking with it. I swear I am throwing everything I can find at these mites. Tea tree oil, nu-stock, honey, borax, everything lol. And just so people don't think I see something and just do it I do a LOT of reading, research and contemplating before trying any of these things and I suggest you do the same. Okay now on to the pictures.

These pictures are pretty accurate to color and everything. I am making horrible faces because the sun is shining right on face and in my eyes. But with all that natural light comes the most accurate pictures. I have one pimple under my nose that is healing and everything else that you see is drying up and healing. Nothing new and active, I just wish my texture would improve but I am sure it will over time and after everything heals completely.

Day 20

Day 19

   So last night I put on the argan oil/tea tree oil mixture before I left for work. I am giving my face a little break from the Nu-stock, my face seemed to have a slight pink ting all over and it was super drying and my face just needed a break. Okay back to last night, so I brought my oil with me to work and whenever I felt one moving making me insane I put some oil on it.

   My face is much paler than it was but it is still pink, especially on my cheeks but  I think a lot of that is broken capillaries that I need to have zapped again. My forehead is still covered in a bazillion bumps that itch like crazy and I have gotten a bunch behind my ears that itch too. Another reason I am giving my face a break from the nu-stock is I can tell that the chemicals were burning my skin a little because I looked like a wearing a slight pink mask and my skin was pale around my eyes. It isn't enough for anyone else to notice but I could.

   Did I mention my forehead itches like crazy? Later today I am going to take a borax soak in the tub, but for now pictures. I am not going to do the up close ones because there is nothing to see. I don't have any new pustules just a pimple, well on my face anyways. I am starting to get some on my chest, hence the borax bath. So weird that I can say I have no new pustule. On to the pictures, sorry I look like I am in pain, the sun was shining in my eyes.

Day 19

Day 18. Make it stop

   Working all night gave me the pleasure of feeling them at their most active time instead of sleeping through it. Let me tell you, I am surprised I still have a face I wanted to scratch it off so bad. I am trying really hard not to scratch so I kind of pat instead which turned into smacking. So basically all night I was beating the shit out of myself. I sure hope this couple doesn't have a nanny cam or they are going to think I am insane. I could feel them on my face, and on my head the worst but they are now moving down to my chest and back. I would take pictures of my chest to show you the pustules popping up there but I am trying to keep this PG 13 except for language.

   Have you ever seen that show 1,000 ways to die? If not the premise of the show is reenactments of stupid shit people did that killed them. Snorted ants, tapeworm diet, college age guys participating in stupid bets or pranks, you get the drift. Well I have a feeling I am going to end up on this show when I die trying to figure out a way to rid my body of these damn mites. They are driving me INSANE. So because they are driving me insane I have resorted to putting animal mange medicine on my face, bathing in laundry detergent and now I am about to start drinking laundry detergent because the topical shit isn't cutting it, and if I really have to I will be going for the horse dewormer next. And this my friends, is how I am going to end up on that stupid show 1,000 ways to die.

   Okay I'm tired, on to the pictures and off to bed. Sorry if they are not THAT accurate I just got out the shower so I'm a little more flushed than normal. OH I almost forgot, just a FYI if you are treating your lashes with tto and you accidentally use the 50/50 bottle instead of the 1:8 bottle and your eyelids feel like they are frying first, DON'T PUT WATER ON THEM, it only makes it worse, but do coat them in coconut oil and it makes them stop burning immediately. Not that this has happened to me or anything, just something I heard somewhere.

Day 18

Nightly wrap up

   So my face has remained pustule free all day and pretty pale for me. Besides the peeling dryness and bumpy texture it looks pretty close to normal. It is dry and scaly around my mouth where I had the most p&p and my forehead is still covered in a million bumps but they are going down.

   I am starting a new job tonight so I am putting on my nu-stock now so it will soak in before I leave. Also I did nu-stock from my eyes down and tto on my forehead just in case my forehead is reacting to the nu-stock.  Okay I'm out.

   One last thing, I have noticed that other places on my body are starting to itch and I am going to have to really get serious with the borax baths. 

Day 17 HOLY CHIT!

   This morning I was woken by someone knocking on my door, now if you have a face that looks and acts like mine you know the state of panic and horror I was in having to answer the door without having looked in the mirror first. I was trying really hard to look down cover my face with my hair, it was ridiculous. So of course as soon as they left I ran to the mirror to see how bad I scared him and I was shocked.

   My face again had not a single pustule, not one AND my face was almost normal colored. It has a slight pink tinge but I think that is because of the sulfur and maybe I need to dilute it a little more. The texture on my face is starting to smooth out, it's crazy. I don't want to get my hopes up just to wake up with it red and swollen and full of pustules again so I am just going to enjoy it day by day and be happy with how it looks today.

   One thing is my face does still itch, I think it is because I need to dilute the sulfur more still. I itch the worst behind and right in front of my ears, my forehead and the back of my neck. Also my face is dry and scaly but a little argan oil will fix that up. It really is sad that my whole mood for the day if effected by how my face looks in the mirror but it does. If I can keep it heading in this direction I should be in a pretty good mood for a while. Okay, on to the pictures.

Day 17

Day 16 I feel like my face is f*cking with me

   Seriously, I feel like it is playing with my emotions. Like it does well and then BAM bad day just to fuck with me and then goes back to doing well. So, ready for my theory? I did the nu-stock with the coconut oil on Thursday night and was fine, I think that did a MASSIVE extermination. Friday I was fine because my body wasn't reacting to the dead mites yet, I tried to mix the nu-stock with the argan oil but the argan oil isn't a strong enough oil to counteract how strong the nu-stock is and that is why it started to burn and I took it off. Also the argan absorbs quicker and better than coconut oil so I think it drew it deeper into my skin and more of it than the coconut oil. Just glad I took it off. But yesterday all of the mites started to breakdown and that is what our body reacts to so that is why my face looked like hell. It was reacting to the overload of hundreds of dead mites.

   So last night I diluted the nu-stock even further with coconut oil and applied it to my entire face and below and behind my ears because I had been itchy there too lately, like they are making a run for it. I figured my face was already beet red and broke out, why stop now, just push through it.

   Today I woke up and I didn't have a single pustule. Not one. My face is still redish but not like yesterday and my forehead is COVERED in bumps (well now my whole face is) but no pustule. Now let me explain what I define as pustule, a pustule to me is a raised lesion with a white head on it that looks like it needs so be popped, there are shallower than pimples and usually go away once they have been popped. They usually show up and leave withing 24 hours. It's like it's a toxin that is expelled through my skin and when it's expelled it's gone, unlike a pimple which is a clogged pore that likes to get big and hang around.

   So my forehead has hundreds of these tiny bumps all over it and I can't decide if they are dead mites or an allergic reaction to the nu-stock. I am going to do a test patch on my forearm to see how my sink reacts to the mixture I used last night. I have to say my face does itch like crazy. But if the nu-stock can kill off that many mites at once, I will keep using it at least once a week to knock these suckers out. Also I am going to do a borax bath later to treat the rest of my body. Okay I have a lot of pictures today, full face, close ups and a comparison with yesterday so you can see how insane my skin is. The forehead ones you can't really see how many bumps there are. Right now the texture of my skin is fucked.  P.S. Sorry for the serial killer eyes.

Day 16

   

It's amazing how a 5 year old can bum you out.

   So my face was pretty red today, I woke up flushed and it stayed pretty persistent all day. I'm not sure if it was the nu-stock or if it's that 2-3 week  backslide you are suppose to go through or what but it sucks. My face just kept popping up with more pustules during the day, which is awesome since I had a job interview today. My makeup just made the red look purple. Lucky me! Then my niece is spending the night and she looks at me after her bath and says "Nanny, why is your face always so red and have pimples?" She's 5 so she is still learning what is okay to ask and not. My mom told her that isn't nice to ask that, and her innocence she was just like "well no one else has a red face or that many pimples, I was just asking." Yeah.

   So that has put me in such a great state of mind. My family likes to tell me you can't tell and it's not that red or noticeable. Then you bring a honest 5 year old around and get the truth. Anyways, tonight I was going to do the nu-stock again but with argan oil since it absorbs quicker and I like it but when I mixed it up and put it on it started to burn so I washed my face right away. So now my face is even a little more red, yippee, so I just put on some argan and tto and now I am off to bed. Night

Nu-stock update

   Okay, so I woke up to my face feeling flushed. Not sure what that is about, but it is warm to the touch and it is flushed in areas I don't usually flush. Alright let me back up to last night. So last night I tried the nu-stock for the first time, scroll back a post and read my first thoughts on texture, smell etc.. So after I put it on I could tell it was working because I could feel the little buggers trying to make a run for it. My face kept itching, but not in a I think I am breaking out in hives way, like the mites are dying way. Also I think this stuff gets into your bloodstream cause it was like I could taste is a little in the back of my throat. The itching did drive me a bit nuts and made it hard to sleep and actually I am a bit itchy right now.

   So when I woke up this morning I had about 20 tiny little pustules, and one bigger one. I think the bigger ones are maybe like little nest of them. You can't even see where the ones I had yesterday were, they come and go so quick. So that is a good and bad thing, it feels like a setback, but I think it's just the new ones hatching and being killed off, and it is following that timeline pretty well so I am just going to go with it and call it progress. Its still mentally and emotionally hard to look in the mirror and see your face covered in tiny little bumps and flushing and think of it as progress when 2 days ago you were just slightly pink and had one bump. I am trying really hard to not let it get me down.

   So on the nu-stock bottle is says apply every 3 days, so I think I will use it every 3 days and use the tto in between. I don't want to over do it with the nu-stock. Okay picture time.

**Update to original post. Please do a test patch to see how you react to Nu-Stock before using it, I do end up having an unpleasant response to it and I'm not sure if it was an allergic reaction or if my skin is just really sensitive. I would recommend putting a tiny bit either on your forearm or under your jawline first and waiting at least 2 days to see how you react before putting it on your entire face.**

Day 14

Nu-stock (Please read warning at the bottom of the post)

   So my Nu-stock* came in today and I think I am going to try it out. I am making a batch of 1 tbsp of coconut oil, 1 tbsp of nu-stock and about 7 drops tto. First the bottle is a LOT bigger than I thought it would be, it smells medical, and like pine scented cleaner. Not good but not horribly bad like I was expecting, tolerable. Also it is a lot thinner than I expected, more watery. I thought it would be more pasty like toothpaste or like neosporin, not liquid, I guess because of the tube it comes in I thought it would be thick like lotion or something. Being thin did make it a lot easier to mix it with the coconut oil once I melted the oil. I also made sure I shook the tube really well first to make sure everything mixed well. It's a weird yellow color, another thing I didn't expect, and I wondered if it would leave my skin yellow but it didn't. I used a q-tip and applied it to my entire face, it has a little bit of a gritty feeling to it but not much. The color dissipated right away and it's been about 5 minutes and it is starting to absorb. Coconut oil always takes a bit to absorb, I will give it about 30 minutes then blot my face with a tissue and go to bed. It didn't burn or sting or anything so that is a good sign. I will update the rest tomorrow I guess. Night!

**Update to original post. Please do a test patch to see how you react to Nu-Stock before using it, I do end up having an unpleasant response to it and I'm not sure if it was an allergic reaction or if my skin is just really sensitive. I would recommend putting a tiny bit either on your forearm or under your jawline first and waiting at least 2 days to see how you react before putting it on your entire face.**

Day 13...I knew this would happen.

   So I didn't come to the demodex conclusion or treatment out of the blue, I did a lot of read and a lot of research most of it here on a rosacea forum. While reading and researching I pretty much self diagnosed demodex mites as being my main culprit. I had all of the signs, the pustules, the redness, the itching, acne medicine not working a lot of different things. So when I figured out that was my problem next was to see what treatment options I had and see how they worked for different people. Some people had used borax, some had used sulfur, some had used a cream you order from over seas called ZZ cream or Zhongzhou Zinc Oxide and last some had used tea tree oil.

   While trying to chose which treatment to follow I read a couple of threads that people wrote chronicling their treatments and their ups and downs, (like I am doing here but without many pictures) to help decided which treatment I would follow. On one of the threads someone posted this from I believe the ZZ cream website called demodex solutions which tells you what you can expect week to week with treatment which I will put at the end of this post. Actually they have a lot of good info on their site so check it out here.

   So the reason I went with tea tree oil is simple really. First, I already had some, second I didn't have to order it from overseas and it kinda creeped me out that they won't tell you ALL the ingredients in the ZZ cream, they say ancient Chinese secret or some crap like that. (but the ZZ cream has good reviews!) I didn't want to do the borax because it just seemed so harsh, like using ajax on my face or something. And I did order the sulfur in the form of nu-stock. It is really hard to find a product that has a high enough sulfur content that it would actually be beneficial. My nu-stock comes today but I didn't want to wait that long to get it to start treatment so I went ahead with the tea tree oil and here we are today. I might bust out the nu-stock for the next two weeks....maybe.

  So with that being said, I KNEW that there would be setbacks, I knew I would break out again, I knew it was coming. That doesn't mean I have to like it! Yesterday my skin almost looked pretty! Almost. It was the best it had looked since I got back from California. And then I woke up today. Now don't get me wrong, it still looks way better, but it's a step back from yesterday. I am trying to think if I ate something, or was around something that might have triggered it but I can't think of anything. I really need to start keeping a food/face journal. But even so usually if I eat something my face doesn't agree with, it lets me know right away.

  Anyways, today I woke up and it really isn't bad, just not as good as yesterday so it made me blah. But my face was a little more red, and I had two BIG pustules and I have a big pimple under my lip on the right and another on the left half way between my lip and chin that are just being persistent for some reason. (that is one of the ways I can tell the difference in pustule and pimple, pimple is deeper under the skin and stays around a lot longer). I am not calling it a set back, but my face would react like this on a day where I have to go meet a bunch of new people. BTW I just had sushi and I don't think my face likes soy sauce, I can feel the flush coming! At least I don't eat it often. Okay so here is the week by week that I saw posted for the ZZ cream that I am guessing will apply to my face also and after that I will post today's pictures.

Week 1:

Itching begins to subside and your skin becomes calmer. In addition, preexisting pimples and bumps begin to shrink and dry.

Week 2-3:During this period, you’ll experience the most severe breakout of the entire treatment. Your skin will become more dry and clusters of bumps similar to a mosquito bite might surface in affected areas. Don’t become alarmed or disgruntled during this difficult time. If you experience a breakout, it’s due to the dead demodex mites under your skin. As their bodies decay, the demodex produces bacteria inside the follicles of your skin. Once the bacteria is gone, the bumps will disappear and healthy skin will be revealed.

Week 4:Noticeable improvements to your skin will become apparent.

Week 5-7:You’ll experience a series of light rashes and breakouts during this period. It won’t be nearly as bad as the initial “die-off” stage during weeks 2 and 3, but it might seem like a setback (it’s not). These breakouts are caused by the decaying demodex mites that recently hatched from the eggs of the demodex parents killed weeks prior. After this group of offspring are eliminated, you’ll begin enjoying clear and healthy skin.

Week 8:A treatment of 90 days is recommended for total elimination of the demodex mites, but after 60 days, you’ll begin reaping the rewards of your treatment. You’ll start receiving compliments from family and friends on account of your bright and healthy new skin. This is when you know you’re rounding the final stretch.

Week 9-12:Even though your skin looks and feels completely cured, continue the treatment for 12 weeks.

Week 13 & Beyond:Although a 90 day course is recommended, it’s important to complete maintenance by applying the demodex treatment 2 times per month. This ensures no new overgrowth of demodex mites and it keeps your skin in optimal condition so you can continue enjoying bright and healthy skin.

I am a woman who has become obsessed.

     So right now I am not working, I just got back from a month long trip to California and I haven't picked up any clients since I have been back. This has resulted in two things, me being broke and stressed, and me being obsessed with my face and how horrible it looks. I was just looking at pictures of me from two weeks ago with no makeup swimming and my skin was beautiful. Not perfect but as close to perfect as it gets for me. Depressing.

   So since I am currently not working and I refuse to leave my house unless it is related to school I have had a lot of spare time on my hands. What have I been doing with that spare time you ask? Obsessing over my face and how to cure it. For some reason in my head if I fix my face I will all of a sudden have a better life. I will have tons of friends and I will do things and I will go places and everything will be great. I know this is not true. All that will happen is I will sit at home and have a normal face. So now I just spend HOURS researching and looking for cures or fixes for rosacea that do not include me going to the doctor since I don't have insurance. I am pretty sure by the end of the week I will be an expert on all things rosacea, demodex mites and sub derm. I don't know why I am researching sub derm since I don't have it, but you never know, my skin is fickle like that.

   My face has had a few flashes on and off today, none lasting more than 30 minutes or so but man those 30 minutes seem to last FOREVER. Another thing I was thinking about is I ran out of oracea when I was still in California and my face remained fine, but the day after I returned back to New Orleans BAM! it was bad. I am wondering if it was coincidence and the oracea took a while to work it's way out of my system or if there is something in my house that is setting my face off or if it is the weather and humidity down here. Hmmm. Going to have to ponder that a while....or research it.

   One last thing, I ordered some nu-stock sulfur cream today, it should be in next week. I am not sure when I will try it or how often, I will have to go research that too.